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Jewish World Review July 18, 2006 / 22 Tamuz, 5766 A big boo-hoo for disgraced celebs By Celia Rivenbark http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | It's been a tough month for celebrities who used to be taken seriously as journalists, hons. First off, Connie Chung, one-time esteemed network reporter and anchor, dons a strapless Barbie nightclub singer dress and inexplicably writhes about on the floor while "singing'' a televised tribute to her fat-baby obsessed husband, Maury Povich, on the last day of their cable show. Then Chung's former CBS buddy, Dan Rather, quits in a huff after the network disses him by essentially giving the former award-winning anchor and watery-eyed veteran of many a national calamity an office the size of a Cheeto with instructions not to use the phone for personal calls. Apparently, Rather's famously folksy turns of phrase are no longer welcome at the Big Eye. Which makes us madder'n a mule chewing on a bumblebee nest, by the way. And, finally, Star Jones, one-time humble McDonald's fry girl turned brilliant court reporter turned voracious man-eating, weight-losing, fur-wearing Bridezilla, has her final diva-fit and up and quits "The View'' to "pursue other projects'' that we fervently hope don't include some sort of Spurned Woman Road Tour with aspiring chaunteuse Chung. Barbara Walters, 105, said that she was just sick about Star's sudden exit because she and "View'' co-hosts Elizabeth Hasselbeck and Joy Behar had been planning all along to simply feed the suddenly diminutive Star to new "View'' recruit Rosie O'Donnell during a commercial break. Actually, Star's popularity had pretty much tanked since she began to imply that all one has to do to lose tons of weight is to find and marry a very handsome homosexual. No, no, what I meant to say was things soured when she forgot that viewers like to relate to a talk-show hostess. When watching "The View'' (which we periodically do if dragged into a room and our eyelids glued open a la "A Clockwork Orange'') we're supposed to feel that we're with our best girlfriends, sipping Cointreau margaritas and whining about our spouses. And, yes, we're ashamed to say it, but we liked Star better fat. She was big and fun, and she bought her shoes at Payless, for heaven's sake. How much more real and girlfriendy can you get? Celebrities are terrific at mending battered images, and our guess is that Star will triumph again. We suggest an immediate adoption of at least one baby from a war-ravaged country, or perhaps borrow one from the perpetually pregnant Heidi Klum. It's too late for Chung and Rather, but not for Star. Get going, girlfriend. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here. A big boo-hoo for disgraced celebs Girls' pajama parties a little different now When Bubbas and hoes are extra welcome Ageless icons can't escape their ages Gifts to kids' teachers make competitive moms antsy Kid bumper stickers sure not ‘terrific’ © 2006, The Sun News (Myrtle Beach, S.C.) Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services

Columnists Mitch Albom Jay Ambrose Bruce Bialosky Lori Borgman Ben Carson Mona Charen Linda Chavez Richard Z. Chesnoff Alicia Colon Ann Coulter Greg Crosby Diane Dimond Larry Elder Suzanne Fields Christine Flowers Peter Funt Michael Gerson Bernie Goldberg Jonah Goldberg Paul Greenberg Argus Hamilton Victor Davis Hanson Froma Harrop Ron Hart Nat Hentoff A. Barton Hinkle Jeff Jacoby Paul Johnson Jack Kelly Ch. Krauthammer David Limbaugh Rich Lowry Andrew Malcolm Michelle Malkin Ann McFeatters Dana Milbank Jeanne Moos Dick Morris Jim Mullen Judge A. Napolitano Kathleen Parker Star Parker Dennis Prager Wesley Pruden Tom Purcell Sharon Randall Michael Reagan Robert Robb Dave Ross Debra J. Saunders Martin Schram Culture Shlock David Shribman Roger Simon Lenore Skenazy Michael Smerconish Thomas Sowell Mark Steyn John Stossel Cal Thomas Dan Thomasson Bob Tyrrell Diana West Dave Weinbaum George Will Walter Williams Byron York Cathy Young Mort Zuckerman Toons Eric Allie Robert Arial Baloo Pat Bagley Nate Beeler Lisa Benson Chip Bok Dry Bones John Branch Daryl Cagle Patrick Chappatte John Cole Paul Combs J. D. Crowe John Darkow Bill Day John Deering Bob Englehart Brian Duffy Everything's Relative Randall Enos Mallard Fillmore David Fitzsimmons Glenn Foden Jake Fuller Bob Gorrel Walt Handelsman Joe Heller David Hitch Jerry Holbert David Horsey Taylor Jones Lee Judge Steve Kelley Mike Keefe Jeff Koterba Dick Locher Chan Lowe Jimmy Margulies RJ Matson Gary McCoy Rick McKee Paresh Nath Jack Ohman Jeff Parker Milt Priggee Michael Ramirez Rob Rogers Steve Sack Bill Schorr Drew Sheneman Kevin Siers David Ray Skinner Jeff Stahler Scott Stantis Danna Summers Gary Varvel Kirk Walters Christopher Weyant Larry Wright Dan Wasserman Adam Zyglis Lifestyles Tech Q&A Mr. Know-It-All Ask Doctor K Richard Lederer Frugal Living Bookmark These Bruce Williams