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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review July 17, 2006 / 21 Tamuz, 5766

Boys can't be boys

By Tom Purcell


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Dear Mom and Dad,

It's been less than a week since you dropped me off at summer camp. You better come get me 'cause I'm in big trouble.


On my first day, I was feeling homesick. So I found a piece of wood and began carving it with my Swiss Army knife the way Dad showed me.


Well, one of the counselors yelled at me to "freeze." He took my knife, then patted me down. Then he marched me off to the camp director. The director said, who did I think I was bringing a lethal weapon, a symbol of pain and death, into his camp? Then he gave me a "verbal warning."


The next day, Billy Johnson and I got bored, so we went into the woods to play army. We turned a couple of branches into guns and made bullet noises as we fought the bad guys.


Sure enough, we got marched off to the director. The director said there's so much war in the world because boys like us are taught to "celebrate" it from an early age. He said we should be ashamed of ourselves and that we were lucky he wasn't sending us home.


So I figured I better stay out of trouble. But then I got in trouble at lunch. I began to say grace out loud, just like you taught me, and I was carted off to the director again.


He wanted to know who I thought I was imposing my beliefs on others. He said my actions showed how "ignorant" and "insensitive" Americans are to other cultures; then he gave me another warning.


Believe it or not, things got even worse the next day. We were weaving baskets and I was sitting next to Mary Allison, the prettiest girl I ever saw.


"Mary," I said, "you're so pretty you make me smile from ear to ear."


Well, sure enough, I was carted off to the director again. He said I really crossed the line this time. He said my behavior was not only "boorish," but against the law. He said I should be sued for sexual harassment. By the way, what is a "gender terrorist"?


I was uptight. But I was able to forget about it the next day when we played kickball. I kicked the ball really far and I got a grand slam. I was so happy, I said, "We win! We win!"


Sure enough, that got me another trip to the director's office. This time he said I was "insensitive" to the players on the other team. He said I hurt their "self-esteem." Then he asked me if Dad was a Republican.


By this point, I figured I'd better just keep to myself. So I got a jar out of the cafeteria and went into the woods. I got a bumblebee into the jar and put some flowers in there to keep him happy. I was poking holes in the top to let fresh air in when I was hauled off to the director again.


This time, he was really mad. He said, who did I think I was giving a "death sentence" to an innocent bee? He said I had no respect for the Earth and that it was people like me who were responsible for hurting the environment. He said I'll be lucky if the world doesn't end before I collect Social Security.


Then he said I better get with the program — that there is no place in this world anymore for "thoughtless," "restless," "insensitive" boys like me. He said I should be on Ritalin and that if I mess up one more time, he was kicking me out of his camp.


That's why you better come get me. Tomorrow everybody is going for a hike in the woods. And I already picked some flowers to give to Mary Allison.


Your son,
Tommy

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