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July 2, 2009

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: The hallmark of a person

Abe Novick: Up, up, and aliya

July 1, 2009

Rabbi Avi Shafran: The Road Taken

The Kosher Gourmet by Marialisa Calta: Get into the holiday spirit with these Star-Spangled desserts

June 30, 2009

Rabbi Binyomin Ginsberg: What makes a great parent?

Caroline B. Glick: Ideologue-in-Chief

June 29, 2009

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Beware of 'Caveat Emptor'

Steven Emerson: ACLU pushing for more money for Hamas

June 26, 2009

Rabbi Yoni Posnick: Learn the secret to a healthy marriage from a scriptural villain

Caroline B. Glick: Barack Obama vs. International Law

June 25, 2009

Rabbi Shimon Apisdorf: The Absurd Power of Truth

Jordan "Gorf" Gorfinkle's strip: Everything's Relative

June 24, 2009

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Advancement of technology is a wake-up call for humanity

The Kosher Gourmet by Andrea Weigl: Summer on a stick: Making frozen treats can be easy, creative and fun

June 23, 2009

Martin M. Bodek: 'On Surnames': And so, We Begin

Caroline B. Glick: The Obama Effect

June 22, 2009

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Working for a corrupt firm

N. Richard Greenfield : Where are American Jews?

June 19, 2009

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: Emotion v. intellect

Caroline B. Glick: Israel's rare opportunity

June 18, 2009

Jonathan Rosenblum: Sometimes it is more essential to define the nature of evil than good

Jordan "Gorf" Gorfinkle's strip: Everything's Relative

June 17, 2009

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The Language of Confusion

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: Nothing pleases Dad more than a thick, juicy onion-smothered steak. Add home-Baked Potato Chips and …

June 16, 2009

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Career v. Careersism

Caroline B. Glick: Obama's losing streak and Israel

Richard Z. Chesnoff: ‘Palestinians’: Never Missing an Opportunity …

June 15, 2009

Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu: How Judea and Samaria can become 'Palestine'

Daniel Pipes: Where Netanyahu's speech failed

June 12, 2009

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: Some big thoughts about not acting so big

Caroline B. Glick: Obama's High Commissioner

June 11, 2009

Victor Davis Hanson: Our historically challenged President

Mitch Albom: Beware the True Believers

Lewis Grossberger: What we learn from the new Hitler photos

June 10, 2009

Mort Zuckerman: What Obama and his advisors won't -- or refuse to -- grasp about Israel and the Muslim world

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Lotsa pasta: Tips, techniques and (amazing) taste

June 9, 2009

Anne Bayefsky: Obama's stunning offense to Israel and the Jewish people

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: America's first Muslim president?

June 8, 2009

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Merchant must take responsibility for careless shopper?

Mark Steyn: A superpower that feeds on mediocrity cannot survive for long on leftovers from the past

Richard Z. Chesnoff: How do you say 'kumbaya' in Arabic?

June 5, 2009

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: In quest of spirituality

Caroline B. Glick: Obama's Arabian dreams

Charles Krauthammer: The Settlements Myth

June 4, 2009

Paul Greenberg: The War Comes to Little Rock

The Kosher Gourmet by Judy Hevrdejs: Splash it on! Tap your inner jazz musician and improvise when stirring up a vinaigrette

June 3, 2009

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q. Should terrible teacher be exposed?

Jonathan Rosenblum: The Israel Lobby: Missing in Action

June 2, 2009

Dennis Prager: The Speech President Obama Won't Dare Give in Egypt

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Pressure on Israel raises war risk

Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review July 17, 2006 / 21 Tamuz, 5766

Boys can't be boys

By Tom Purcell


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Dear Mom and Dad,

It's been less than a week since you dropped me off at summer camp. You better come get me 'cause I'm in big trouble.


On my first day, I was feeling homesick. So I found a piece of wood and began carving it with my Swiss Army knife the way Dad showed me.


Well, one of the counselors yelled at me to "freeze." He took my knife, then patted me down. Then he marched me off to the camp director. The director said, who did I think I was bringing a lethal weapon, a symbol of pain and death, into his camp? Then he gave me a "verbal warning."


The next day, Billy Johnson and I got bored, so we went into the woods to play army. We turned a couple of branches into guns and made bullet noises as we fought the bad guys.


Sure enough, we got marched off to the director. The director said there's so much war in the world because boys like us are taught to "celebrate" it from an early age. He said we should be ashamed of ourselves and that we were lucky he wasn't sending us home.


So I figured I better stay out of trouble. But then I got in trouble at lunch. I began to say grace out loud, just like you taught me, and I was carted off to the director again.


He wanted to know who I thought I was imposing my beliefs on others. He said my actions showed how "ignorant" and "insensitive" Americans are to other cultures; then he gave me another warning.


Believe it or not, things got even worse the next day. We were weaving baskets and I was sitting next to Mary Allison, the prettiest girl I ever saw.


"Mary," I said, "you're so pretty you make me smile from ear to ear."


Well, sure enough, I was carted off to the director again. He said I really crossed the line this time. He said my behavior was not only "boorish," but against the law. He said I should be sued for sexual harassment. By the way, what is a "gender terrorist"?


I was uptight. But I was able to forget about it the next day when we played kickball. I kicked the ball really far and I got a grand slam. I was so happy, I said, "We win! We win!"


Sure enough, that got me another trip to the director's office. This time he said I was "insensitive" to the players on the other team. He said I hurt their "self-esteem." Then he asked me if Dad was a Republican.


By this point, I figured I'd better just keep to myself. So I got a jar out of the cafeteria and went into the woods. I got a bumblebee into the jar and put some flowers in there to keep him happy. I was poking holes in the top to let fresh air in when I was hauled off to the director again.


This time, he was really mad. He said, who did I think I was giving a "death sentence" to an innocent bee? He said I had no respect for the Earth and that it was people like me who were responsible for hurting the environment. He said I'll be lucky if the world doesn't end before I collect Social Security.


Then he said I better get with the program — that there is no place in this world anymore for "thoughtless," "restless," "insensitive" boys like me. He said I should be on Ritalin and that if I mess up one more time, he was kicking me out of his camp.


That's why you better come get me. Tomorrow everybody is going for a hike in the woods. And I already picked some flowers to give to Mary Allison.


Your son,
Tommy

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© 2006, Tom Purcell

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