Jewish World Review July 5, 2006 / 9 Tamuz, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Tour de France started near Paris Saturday and two dozen
bicyclists took off for Normandy like a shot. The crowd noise was
deafening. Whenever the Germans advance this far in the World Cup,
you can hear them singing two hundred miles away.
Hillary Clinton ran behind John Edwards in the South Monday
when Southerners were polled for their choice of a Democratic
presidential nominee. The region is conservative. The top movie in
the South last weekend was The Devil Reads Pravda.
The European Union voted Monday that Microsoft can be fined
over two million dollars a day for violating an anti-trust
decision. They don't really want the cash. They're just trying to
gain enough leverage to get a little technical support.
Osama bin Laden released an audio tape on the Internet
Friday. It sounds like those banking tactics are working. He spent
a half hour complaining that the Bank of America started charging
him three dollars to talk to a live person on the phone.
Syrian president Bashar Assad was startled at home Thursday
when Israeli jets buzzed his house outside Damascus. He heard from
other Arab leaders immediately. Baghdad Bob called him Sunday and
asked if he needs a comedian to work the invasion.
Arnold Schwarzenegger's anti-terror office insisted Sunday it's not tracking the anti-war protesters in California. You have to understand the surveillance process out here. Once they get a photograph of your cellulite they leave you alone.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton