Jewish World Review July 3, 2006 / 7 Tamuz, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Arab nations backed Syria Thursday as Israeli planes buzzed
Damascus. Tensions are high. The Arabs want the Israelis to shed
the Golan Heights, the West Bank, the Gaza Strip and East
Jerusalem or, as it is known in America, Star Jones surgery.
The Tudors began principal photography in England Friday
starring Jonathan Rhys Meyers as young Henry VIII. The movie will
air next year on Showtime. Because Henry VIII didn't have all six
of his wives at the same time, he wasn't allowed on HBO.
President Bush joined Japan's prime minister in a visit to
Graceland Friday. It was a nice pick-me-up for the president's
spirits after what happened the day before. Nothing is as depressing
as losing a Supreme Court case to Osama bin Laden's driver.
NASA personnel tried Friday to clear away vultures from the
launch pad at Cape Canaveral before Saturday's launch. The
scavengers circled overhead all week. If the omens looked any
worse for the shuttle program FEMA would be in charge of it.
Hillary Clinton said Tuesday she baby-sat the children of
migrant workers so they could go to work. That's how concerned she
is about the welfare of minorities. Not only did she baby-sit for
migrants, she took time off her job as a depot on the Underground
Railroad to do it.
Hillary Clinton hired a blogger to be a part of her
political communications team. She doesn't understand the
Internet. Her husband is on the computer from midnight to four
every morning and she thinks a blogger can find out what he's doing.
Superman Returns opened Thursday to big crowds and rave
reviews. The country has changed a lot since his last visit almost
thirty years ago. Superman has to be glad that the cocaine craze
ended and a lot fewer people think they are Superman.
The Weather Channel said torrential rainfall in Washington
D.C. Tuesday caused treacherous conditions. It was awful. FEMA
employees rushed to the roof of their headquarters and they are
still waiting for the mayor of New Orleans to rescue them.
Howard Dean promised Hispanic activists on Wednesday that
Democrats won't make immigration an election issue. Is he blind?
People in Arizona are so angry about illegal immigration, the Ku
Klux Klan has started recruiting in black neighborhoods.
Bill Clinton said Thursday he and his wife think the Democratic Party should leave Iowa and New Hampshire alone at the front of the presidential primaries. He said from his own experience, more primaries wouldn't allow the candidates to do everything they need to do. It takes a certain amount of time to deny all those female accuser stories.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton