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Jewish World Review July 31, 2006 / 6 Menachem-Av, 5766
Axis of Evil flooded with membership applications
By Andy Borowitz
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Kim Jong-Il ‘very picky’ about filling open third slot
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The Axis of Evil, which originally consisted of Iran, Iraq and North Korea, has been flooded with membership applications of late as evildoers around the world vie to fill the slot vacated by Iraq.
That is according to North Korean President Kim Jong-Il, who since 2002 has served as Chairman of the Axis of Evil while also holding down the post of Chairman of the Axis of Evil's membership committee.
At a press conference in Pyongyang today, President Kim said that the bewildering number of applications received at the Axis of Evil offices each day is "proof that evildoing is alive and well."
"No question about it, evildoing is a growth industry," Mr. Kim told reporters. "It's the only thing in the world these days that's keeping pace with obesity."
Mr. Kim said that in addition to the terror group al-Qaeda, which submits Axis of Evil applications on a weekly basis, the A.O.E. has also received applications from Hamas, Hezbollah, Syria, and Hugo Chavez of Venezuela.
"This is going to be a very, very tough call," Mr. Kim told reporters. "All of these folks probably deserve to be in, but there's only one slot."
The North Korean madman said that he had hoped to make a decision by the end of the week, but that is probably unrealistic: "Mel Gibson just sent in an application and that's going to need some serious consideration."