Jewish World Review July 13, 2005 / 6 Tamuz, 5765
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Johnny Depp confirmed plans Monday to fulfill Hunter
Thompson's last wish by firing the Rolling Stone writer's ashes
out of a cannon over his Colorado spread. It doesn't seem quite
right. His ashes should be returned to the Andes for recycling.
The White House announced Monday that the nation's subways
will stay on high alert against terror attacks. Mass transit isn't
working out the way everybody hoped. Los Angeles is demanding
extra highway funds just for being right all along.
Laura Bush and her two daughters arrived in Cape Town on
Monday to tour South Africa after a weekend on safari. They
watched animals at a wild game preserve devour the flesh of the
weak and exposed. It was like they never left Washington D.C.
Tony Blair thanked the American people for support Monday in
the wake of the London subway bombings. It was our finest hour.
President Bush paid a call at the British Embassy, the State
Department raised the Union Jack, and at the World Series of Poker
in Las Vegas everyone played the rest of the tournament standing up.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton