Jewish World Review July 12, 2005 / 5 Tamuz, 5765
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Hurricane Dennis landed in Florida Sunday carrying Category
Three winds. The people of Pensacola are on pins and needles. It's
a race to see if the hurricane can destroy the houses before the
city can seize them to put up a new shopping mall.
Saddam Hussein was said Sunday to be receiving Cuban cigars
sent through the Red Cross. He is one confident man. His personal
cell phone ring tone is an Oval Office recording of President
Nixon blaming all his troubles on the Jews.
Great Britain issued a commemorative five-pound note bearing
Jack Nicklaus's picture Friday. It honors an athlete who has
inspired their country. In the same spirit, Colombia just decided
to put Ricky Williams's picture on the five-pound bale.
The World Series of Poker drew five thousand entries to a
Las Vegas hotel on Thursday. Gambling's very addictive. When word
got around that London was bombed, some of the nickel slot players
couldn't believe that World War II hasn't ended yet.
The Pentagon Sunday postponed tests of the missile defense
system until this fall. Recent missile tests have missed and
exploded in the ocean. Last year three Carnival Cruise ships had
to give the passengers free drinks for the rest of the trip.
The Vietnamese embassy in Washington D.C. celebrated the
ten-year anniversary of diplomatic relations with America. The
Asian nation agreed to open relations under Bill Clinton. He was
so disappointed when it didn't include the basket trick.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton