Jewish World Review July 6, 2005 / 29 Sivan, 5765
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Tony Blair will meet President Bush when he lands in
Scotland today. Our two nations could be stuck together forever in
Iraq with no way out. It's as close as we are ever going to come
to admitting that our trial separation didn't work out.
President Bush arrives for the G-8 summit today in Scotland.
He'll be forced to listen to speeches about poverty and global
warming eight miles from the birthplace of golf. He can now trade
torture stories with John McCain any day of the week.
Democratic donor and billionaire George Soros submits a bid
today to buy the Washington Nationals. Democrats would have the
best seats in the house. Steroid-using sluggers won't look so
puffy when Ted Kennedy's face is shown on the Jumbotron.
Hillary Clinton flew to Singapore Monday to lobby for New
York's bid to host the 2012 Summer Games. The criterion is
different this year. It's down to Paris, London and New York, and
Paris is favored because the terrorists hate them the least.
Democrats demanded on Sunday that the president appoint a
Supreme Court nominee exactly like Sandra Day O'Connor. They want
a centrist. They want someone who thinks a Ten Commandments
display violates the separation of church and state and belongs on
every courthouse lawn.
Texas Rangers pitcher Kenny Rogers was named to the All-Star
team after he assaulted two camera crews last week. He's being
honored despite putting a cameraman in a hospital. Before the game
he will be given the Sean Penn Lifetime Achievement Award.
The University of Maryland School of Medicine released a
study showing that laughter opens your blood vessels and is good
for your heart. Researchers tested different kinds of
entertainment and measured the result. Comedy ranked slightly
ahead of drama at increasing blood flow but well behind co-
headlining with Siegfried.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton