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Nov. 20, 2009
Rabbi David Aaron: How to make every second of your life come first
Caroline B. Glick: Whither American Jewry
Nov. 19, 2009
Binyamin L. Jolkovsky: Please Listen to this Godcast (5 minutes)
Jonathan Tobin: ADL Crosses the Line with Report Bashing Obama Critics
Nov. 18, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: What Judaism has to say about the secret of the Mona Lisa's smile
JWisdom.com: The (Jewish) Dating Game with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (8 minutes)
Nov. 17, 2009
Steven Emerson: How Does the 4th Amendment Impact Terror Finance Investigations?
JWisdom.com: If Frank Sinatra married Edith Piaf with Rabbi Y.Y. Rubinstein (2 minutes) Life lessons from what would be regarded as the most inappropriate lyrics ever sung
Nov. 16, 2009
The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : When borrowing is stealing
JWisdom.com: Deconstructing faith with Rabbi Warren Goldstein (9 minutes)
Nov. 13, 2009
JWisdom.com Sarah's subjective reality with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 6 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick: Obama's failure, Netanyahu's opportunity
Nov. 12, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet By Marialisa Calta : A sweet sweet potato treat
JWisdom.com Does God get tired? with Rabbi Harvey Belovski ( 5 minutes)
Nov. 11, 2009
Rabbi Avi Shafran: Jews and money: When anti-Semitism isn't
JWisdom.com Marriages are not made in Heaven with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (VERY fast 15 minutes)
Nov. 10, 2009
Michael Doyle: Author of book exposing CAIR ordered to remove supporting documents from Web
JWisdom.com If the creation so loudly shouts the existence of the Creator, why aren't more people believers? with Rabbi Naftali Brawer (9 minutes)
Nov. 9, 2009
Mark Steyn: Shooter exposes hole in U.S. terror strategy
JWisdom.com It's never too late to have a happy childhood with Sarah Chana Radcliffe (5 minutes)
Nov. 6, 2009
Rabbi Berel Wein: Choosing to hear
JWisdom.com Zero to 1/60th: How to Empower An Hour with Gavriel Aryeh Sande (7 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick The mullahs' big week
Suzanne Fields A Fallen Wall for Fallen Man
Nov. 5, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet: Three scrumptious -- but simple -- butternut squash dishes
JWisdom.com Hidden Hints: Unlocking Faith & Prayer with Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz (10 minutes)
Nov. 4, 2009
Tom Hamburger and Kim Geiger: Should prayers be covered?
JWisdom.com When God played peacemaker With Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Nov. 3, 2009
Martin Peretz: Beware, Barack. Beware, Rahm. Beware, Axelrod
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater? With Sara Yoheved Rigler (10 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The Holocaust is now on Facebook
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review July 20, 2005 / 13 Taamuz, 5765

Live Long And Procrastinate

By Lloyd Garver


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Like millions of Americans, during the Terri Schiavo tragedy, I saw how important it was for my wife and me to make certain arrangements in writing. I didn't want the government or strangers making these very personal decisions for us. And like millions of Americans, from the moment I made up my mind to do something about it, I did absolutely nothing. Until now.

Finally, last week, I got a Living Will/Durable Power of Attorney Form. It's not unusual to delay doing things that deal with the unpleasantness of death. We all know that we should have wills, but how many of us put off making one out? Similarly, we might joke about our future funerals. Maybe we don't want to be cremated because smoke always makes us sneeze. We kid about silly things we might want on our tombstone like, "Your shoe's untied," or "You Lose. It's My Turn To Pick Up The Check." But we don't want to talk seriously about "the arrangements." So, it's no surprise that I kept putting off thinking about and making some serious medical decisions.

One of the main purposes of the form is to designate the person you want to make life-and-death decisions for you if you're incapable of doing so. See? It's not exactly a fun form to fill out. The document states that your "agent" will be the person making the big decisions for you. This brought me to an abrupt halt. My show business experience with agents has taught me that they might not be the ideal people to decide these things. If a client isn't "hot," an agent treats him as if he were dead, and if he is hot, a good agent will still try to get him a job long after he's dead and buried.

But then I saw that "agent" was just the legal term for proxy or the person that you want to make these decisions. Obviously, this is a huge responsibility that you're giving someone. It's the ultimate in trust —even more so than letting them drive your new car.

For many years, my wife and I had somewhat different philosophies about all this. She's a realist. I'm a dreamer. I worried that the day after they pull the plug on me, they'll discover a cure for whatever I had. I read about people who were in comas for twenty years and then suddenly wake up one day, run a mile and come home and conjugate their French verbs. And I figure, why not me?

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Recently, the more we've talked about things, our points of view have gotten closer together. But that doesn't really matter. Our living wills don't have to be the same. The beauty of these things is that you can customize them to your own personal feelings. If the only "heroic" or "extraordinary" means you want to keep you alive is a chocolate milkshake every day, you can write that in. As I went through the form, I saw that every contingency imaginable is provided for. It's one thing to think of procedures and treatments in the abstract, but here they're talking about you. Seeing all these possibilities in print made me want to put the document aside, but I persevered.

Those who make up these forms must know how difficult they can be to get through, so they even throw in a clause for comic relief. At least, that's the only reason I can think of for it. This provision states that if you name your spouse as the person to make these decisions and you get divorced, you can still have your ex-spouse be the one in charge. Yeah, right. That's exactly the person you want making life-and-death decisions for you. If you've had a bitter divorce, can't you just hear your angry ex saying something like, "He's got the sniffles? Pull the plug."

I made it through the entire form. Despite how uncomfortable it made me feel, I'm glad I hung in there. It's obviously the sensible, mature, and responsible thing to do. And now all I have to do is sign it —which I'm definitely going to do later today. Or tomorrow. Well, soon.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Lloyd Garver has written for many television shows, ranging from "Sesame Street" to "Family Ties" to "Frasier." He has also read many books, some of them in hardcover. Comment by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.

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© 2005, Lloyd Garver

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