Jewish World Review July 19, 2005 / 12 Tamuz, 5765

New Harry Potter book destroys precious rainforest

By Andy Borowitz

652-page tome ignites ecological catastrophe, Sierra Club warns

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The latest installment in the best-selling Harry Potter series, "Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince," has destroyed one of the most precious rainforests in the world, all of whose trees were felled to create the paper for the 652-page book.

Even as librarians and educators praised the latest "Potter" book for stirring children's enthusiasm about reading, ecologists howled in protest over the book's destruction of the Dihing-Patkai rainforest in Tinsukia, India.

Clear-cutting of the Dihing-Patkai rainforest began last fall to prepare for the publication of the much-anticipated "Potter" tome, virtually eliminating the natural habitat for such bird species as the Great Hornbill and the Lesser Beautiful Nuthatch.

"I suppose we are supposed to be overjoyed that J.K. Rowling has brought forth yet another delightful installment of the Harry Potter saga," said Cassandra Spivak of the ecological group the Sierra Club. "Tell that to the Lesser Beautiful Nuthatch."

Ms. Spivak, who claimed that "The Half-Blood Prince" may have irrevocably increased the threat of global warming, also criticized the 652-page length of the book, saying that much of author Rowling's verbiage was unnecessary: "The word 'Quidditch' alone appears over nine thousand times."

While bemoaning the destruction of the Dihing-Patkai rainforest, Ms. Spivak said that the Sierra Club was "pulling out all the stops" to keep similar ecological atrocities from occurring in the future: "We are doing everything in our power to keep Bill Clinton from writing another book."