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Jewish World Review July 1, 2005 / 24 Sivan, 5765 Now presenting, Brotherhood of the Traveling Pants By Lori Borgman
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
‘The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants’ is a movie about four friends who spend the summer apart, but stay in touch by sharing a pair of magical jeans.
They pass the pants among themselves, along with letters describing the changes and adventures the pants ignite.
These magical pants not only perfectly fit an eclectic assortment of shapes, sizes and curves, but are able to bring about self-awareness, flashes of maturity, new-found romance and healing salve for broken relationships.
What you don't learn from the movie is that the pants left Hollywood several weeks ago, and have been making their way across the country, along with letters detailing the magic they continue to spawn.
Dear Howard Dean,
Suppose you've heard about the traveling pants by now. I have to tell you they really work. You know all that hoopla about me throwing a phone at a hotel clerk after ‘Cinderella Man’ opened? Well, what you probably don't know is that I had a Dell computer in my hands and was ready to throw it, when the traveling pants spoke to me and said, ‘Put the computer down, Russell’. So I did. Then I picked up a phone, which only blacked the guy's eye. If it weren't for those traveling pants, I could be facing manslaughter charges instead of simple assault and battery. These pants are magic, Howard. Having some self-control issues yourself, I thought you might want to try them.
Your friend,
Russell Crowe
Dear Tom Cruise,
Hey buddy, Russell Crowe sent me these *&#^@*&$ pants and I have to tell you they work magic! The first day I put them on, I immediately joined an anger management class. It was led by two white Christian Republican jerks, but that doesn't matter, Tom, because it's all about breathing. Yeah, breathing and positive self-messages like, ‘Red states will die, red states will die’. Tom, these pants are so great that this morning the waitress at IHOP didn't even flinch when I raised my hand to reach for my wallet. Give the pants a try, buddy, they might help you keep better focused and from jumping on Oprah's chairs.
See you 'round,
Howard Dean
I thought the traveling pants were a bunch of New Age malarkey. But you know what? They work! For three days now, I've been able to act my age, not jump on the furniture in any network studios, or crawl around on all fours. On Thursday, I briefly entertained the idea of a relationship with someone my own age. I'd keep the pants a few days longer, but Katie is bugging me to let her borrow them, and you know how young girls are. Or maybe you don't. In any case, perhaps the pants will work some magic for you.
Sincerely,
Tom Cruise
Dear Tom,
I am returning the pants. Janet and Liz say they are not flattering to my boyish silhouette. Anyway, I don't put my faith in magic, Tom, I put my faith in California juries.
Have a nice summer,
Michael
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JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Pass the Faith, Please" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.
© 2005, Lori Borgman
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Arnold Ahlert | |||||||||||
