L'chaim/ Lifestyles

In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review

How you can tell if your love is real

By Susan Swann

CREDIT: Shutterstock

What too many adults never learned.

Know a teen? Print/ "share" and prevent heartache

JewishWorldReview.com | At a very early age, we hear stories of love's magic. We read about a prince's true love's kiss that awakens a sleeping beauty, or the kiss of a princess that transforms an ordinary green tree frog into a handsome prince. We fall in love with someone across a crowded room, and suddenly our love takes on a life of its own. And we think that's the way true love is supposed to be.


True love requires time, effort and care. We get to know others gradually. We get to know them over time. We come to trust them, as they prove themselves trust- worthy. We do not instead seek to establish an immediate connection with someone, before getting to know him well. Falling in love is a process and not simply an immediate attraction. It's about cultivating real friendship. It's about fostering honesty and respect. It's about finding someone who stands by us when the chips are down.


If our love story begins with immersion in another, and doesn't grow into something else, it will eventually end there. Real connection with another person is about both giving and getting love. True love is calm, and it is honest. It is sustainable, and it is committed. It is not dramatic. And while love may sometimes begin with immediate attraction to another person, it does not need to start there to grow into authentic intimacy. In fact, sometimes it's best if it doesn't.


Real love enlarges both partners and encourages them to grow. Real love is about being part of a community of others where we learn to live cooperatively together. True love encourages connection with family and friends, it does not restrict those important relationships. Love is about abundance, it is not about scarcity. True lovers love each other, they don't own each other.


Real intimacy never, ever requires us to give up our values. Love is not lying about who we are to keep the peace. We don't change just to make someone else happy. We don't command or coerce those we love, and we don't accept that behavior from others in return.

We never, ever do anything that causes the one we love to experience guilt or discomfort in order to satisfy our own desires. We don't engage in behavior that makes it difficult for us to pray. We remind ourselves that love is not found in an act of instant gratification. Certainly an act of excitement that breaks up someone else's marriage is never evidence of real love.


There is no perfect you, and there is no perfect him. There is no perfect marriage. So we learn to love him for who he is, and not who we wish he would be. We stop trying to change her in a flawed attempt to manage our own inadequacies. We give him the right to tell us no. We meet her needs, and not just our own. What we are seeking is real intimacy with another person. In order to get that, we have to take a risk: We have to be willing to let go of our own expectations of what we think our relationship with another person should be.


Real intimacy is a young father who gets up in the middle of the night to care for a teething baby so his wife can catch up on some much needed sleep. It's a wife who sits for hours on end in the hospital with her cancer-ridden husband and holds his head while he throws up after his chemotherapy treatments. Real intimacy is my grandfather, who moved into a care center with his fading, life-long companion because he refused to let her live there alone.


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Real intimacy is not magic. It's not about living happily ever after. It's also not about putting someone else in charge of our own happiness. Being intimate with another person is not about being scared that you're not enough. Real intimacy finds its best expression in loving families, where we learn to live and grow together.

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