In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review

Hate your date? Use the mercy rule

By Gina Barreca

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | (MCT) Have you ever heard of being "mercied out" of a situation?

When you know it's over before it's over, that's when the "mercy rule" should apply. The term is entirely new to me and I've become obsessed.

I have a good friend whose daughter, despite being an excellent athlete herself, plays on a recreation softball team that's defeated by its opponents in comically extravagant ways. This team can't get a break; they end up with zero runs, and that's on a good day. Such games, she explained, are often shut down early when the referees invoke the "mercy rule."

The "mercy rule," which was once called the "slaughter rule" (gee, I wonder why they changed the name) allows the team with an insurmountable lead to accept its win with grace and grants the losing side some dignity as they leave the field in defeat.

As I understand it, when a disparity in talent or performance is obvious and the outcome is not in question, you can be "mercied out" of the untenable situation. If it's 91-0, for example, the referees can invoke the mercy rule.

"I've been on both ends of the mercy rule," explains Sam Ytuarte, a young stockbroker who's been involved with sports his entire life. "And it's like putting down a pet: You get the same result without prolonging the torture."

Sam thinks the mercy rule is, well, merciful: "Life is short. Spending an extra hour or two entirely annihilating the other team is basically pointless."

In other words, when the field of dreams turns into the slough of despond, you can rely on the mercy rule. It's sort of like the Kevorkian Clause.

And that's when it occurred to me, like the light bulb going on over Bugs Bunny's head, that there are any number of situations in life where being mercied out would offer the ideal resolution.

Consider, for example, the bad date.

You both meant well: Like players from two teams, you agree to engage, to abide by certain formalities and to do your best. Yet no matter how level the playing field, it's occasionally clear right from the start that this is not a fair match ("match" as in World Cup, or "cage," not as in Match.com).

Wouldn't it be nice if both sides were permitted to exit without having to face either smug contempt or gratuitous humiliation? Surely it would be better for everyone involved if one person, or even a preternaturally astute server, could say, "Obviously this is not working. Let's just 'mercy' ourselves out of this, OK?"

You could then leave before any emotional hamstrings are pulled or the Achilles' heel of the heart is permanently damaged.

A person should be able to mercy out of diet and exercise regimes that produce misery without results. After a certain point, it's also wise to accept your upper arms as your upper arms and mercy yourself out of aerial yoga.

You might have more fun at meals if you mercy yourself out of eating only raw meat and legumes; perhaps you are destined not to be Paleo Girl no matter how many starches you avoid.

Time is the one thing you can never get back; it's not noble to waste it in the fruitless pursuit of a futile objective.

Bonnie Jean said she should have been mercied out of algebra ("Talk about slaughtered; I should've been permitted to take it another term"). Iris wants to be mercied out of her husband's elaborately detailed directions ("He draws me maps, but I just use the GPS"). Chuck wants to be mercied out of "numbingly ineffective committee meetings" and "mini-series where they keep adding characters just to confuse old people."

John argues that those who attend the theater have always had the mercy rule: "They call it 'intermission.'"

Let's summon the mercy rule when fundraisers cost more than they make, when we know for a fact the quilt or the dissertation will never be finished, and when the friendship is more pain than pleasure.

While the strain of mercy is not unqualified, it is possible to get out without giving up. Sometimes it's a necessary call.

Gina Barreca is a columnist for The Hartford Courant.

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Nobody's going to tell me to 'Ban Bossy'
When a wave and a smile are magic
Gwyneth needs to recouple with reality
Let's all take the new SATs! --- or not!
Laugh often and 19 more rules to live by
Confessions of a promiscuous shopper
Can women ever be good enough?
Why are women left holding the bag?
Check Your Bumper Sticker At The Door
How a customer became a sucker and then got mad
Using reality TV to reveal your personality
Unlearning the kindergarten lessons of life
Things everyone must stop doing right now
Six truths about summer --- it's no picnic
Anthony Weiner --- we've seen enough of you
When women shop, expectations usually out of stock

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