Home
In this issue
April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review June 19, 2013 / 11 Tamuz, 5773

The News in Zingers

By Argus Hamilton





http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | President Obama agreed to arm Syrian rebels Friday. The U.S. backs the rebels, who include al-Qaeda, but Russia and Iran back Syria, including Hezbollah. Obama decided to take sides in the conflict after Chicago sued Syria for doing its act on the news every night.

Capitol Hill lawmakers split over NSA spying on Americans Monday with liberals and libertarians in alliance against it. The president backs the spying. Republicans are mad at Obama because it's not Bush while Democrats are mad at Obama because it's not Obama.

Nazi SS commander Michael Karcoc was tracked down in Minneapolis Sunday where he's been hiding since World War II. He's ninety-four years old. His defense lawyer is claiming that his parents brought him here illegally and he's just trying to get an education.

The Senate debated the immigration bill Monday that allows Mexican illegals to stay in the U.S. indefinitely. It also lets Canadian snowbirds stay in the U.S. if they own five hundred grand in real estate. This way, Democrats and Republicans break even in Arizona.

The Supreme Court struck down Arizona's law requiring new voters to provide proof of citizenship. The court said it's enough that they signed the registration form under penalty of perjury. It requires them to swear that they are U.S. citizens on their word as Englishmen.

Secret Service agents with the president at the summit in rural Northern Ireland this week disguised themselves in overalls and drove tractors to blend in with locals. The ploy didn't work. The Cole-Haans gave them away and the hookers charged them full price.

Barack Obama backed a trans-Atlantic free-trade deal Sunday. It ends the high tariff put on Europe when Lincoln took office that prompted secession. Obama announced for president in front of Lincoln's statue, and if he were any less like Lincoln, he'd be Douglas.

Iran elected a new president Sunday who claims to be a positive agent of change and a political moderate. All candidates are pre-approved by the ruling Ayatollah and the mullah. An optimist in Iran is anyone who stays up late to see how the election came out.

FBI agents searched under a house north of Detroit Monday when they got a tip that Jimmy Hoffa was buried there. The feds never learn. About every four years a guy in Michigan wins a bar bet that he can get a swimming pool hole dug in his back yard for free.

Kim Kardashian gave birth to a baby girl Saturday after the reality show star induced labor four weeks before her due date. It was medically necessary. William and Kate are having the royal baby in a month and there's only so much tabloid money to go around.

New England Patriots' owner Robert Kraft said Vladimir Putin walked away with his Super Bowl ring after he showed it to Putin during a Kremlin visit. There's an explanation for it. Until Vladimir's divorce is final he has to be careful how much he spends on jewelry.

The Los Angeles School District gave out two Chevrolets to students for their perfect attendance. They're doing it all backwards. L.A. students who have terrible attendance should be required to drive Chevys, and just the threat will have them in their seats for first hour.

Anthony Weiner pulled into a tie for the lead in the New York Mayor's race Thursday in all the local polls. His determined campaigning style is paying off. He's also the candidate who's most widely recognized by the public, and that's just from the waist down.

Kanye West cheated on his pregnant wife Kim Kardashian with a chick he picked up at his show. So a rapper cheats on a wife who's made an online sex tape. Kanye and Kim are showing us that the best way to beat NSA spying is to have no secrets in the first place.

Whitey Bulger went on trial in Boston for murders over twenty years ago. He'd been hiding in Santa Monica. Police got a warrant for probable cause when neighbors said that he never jogged or bicycled and they thought they could hear Fox News under the door.

An Oklahoma evangelical sued the state over its license plate that depicts an Indian shooting a rain arrow across the sky. He says it's a religious ritual that should be separate from state. The Five Civilized Tribes were forced to move to Oklahoma by a not-so bright Andrew Jackson, following the only war in history where the losers got the oil land.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.


Argus' Archives

© 2011, Argus Hamilton

Columnists

Toons

Lifestyles

Quantcast