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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review June 14, 2013/ 6 Tammuz, 5773

Cold statistics cry salty tears

By Lori Borgman

Lori Borgman


http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | More than 24 million children live apart from their biological fathers, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. That is one in three children in America.

I don't know what it feels like to live without a father, but I know what it looks like.

I was helping in a first grade classroom when a seven-year-old boy dropped to the floor and started wailing. This wasn't a soft whimper; it was a chilling, piercing all-out wail.

I coaxed him off the floor, helped him to a chair at the back of the class, and pulled up a chair beside him. He was inconsolable, his shoulders and chest heaving as he gasped for air.

Rubbing his back calmed him down a little and gradually the wailing began to subside. "My dad left," he said between small sobs. "And my mom said he's not ever coming back." Then he sobbed some more, tears gushing. His eyes were red and swollen, his face wet and snot was running out of his nose. "My mom says I'm not ever going to see him again." Then he broke down again.



We sat for a long while. I broke the silence and told him no one knows the future and that he might see his dad one day. He didn't buy it. He glared at me, shook his head like I was the dumbest turnip to ever fall off the truck and sobbed some more.

When he quieted down, I tried shooting straight and said everybody goes through hard times, really, really hard times, and that I was sorry his hard time was now. "Sometimes we have to give our mind a break from the hard times so we can function," I said. "Even in hard times you can find something to be thankful for. Why don't I say something I'm thankful for and then you can say something you're thankful for."

"I'm thankful for a house that protects me from the weather," I said.

He wiped his nose on his arm. "I'm thankful for my dad - because he taught me everything I know." Then he threw his head on the desk and started crying again. Now I was fighting back the tears, too. The little guy cried and sniffed, sobbed and heaved, and wore himself out.

What was sitting next to me, leaning up against me, was a statistic with a face on it. When the numbers have faces, when you can see their broken hearts, salty tears and snot-smeared cheeks, they take on a different dimension. One in three on paper is cold. One in three sitting next to you radiates the heat of a white hot hurt.

We're numb to the statistics. We're numb to the dismal outcomes that research predicts many of these kids will face. The bottom line is this: If you're a father, be a father.

Being a father is not just a responsibility, it's a privilege. You are the only dad your child has.


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JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Catching Christmas" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.

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© 2013, Lori Borgman

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