 |
|
May 22, 2013
John Thorne:
They launched the 'Arab Spring' but now yearn for the good old days of a strongman
May 20, 2013
Richard A. Serrano: Is Meir Kahane's assassin now a changed man?
Melissa Healy: Genetic copies of living people from embryos no longer science fiction
Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Jews Inducted into Rock Hall of Fame; Anton Yelchin co-stars in New "Trek" film; Kutcher (but not Kunis) visits Israel; Jewish TV Star Praises Jewish Rap Star
The Kosher Gourmet by Cathy Pollak: WARNING: This WALNUT CAKE WITH PRALINE FROSTING, perfect for afternoon coffee, is addicting
May 13, 2013
Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Why the giving of the document that would permanently change the world could only be done in desolation
David G. Savage: Church-state, literally? Supreme Court weighing public school graduation in a church
May 10, 2013
Rabbi Berel Wein: Be all that you should be
May 8, 2013
Peter Ford: Why China is welcoming both Israel's Netanyahu and Palestinians' Abbas
Warren Richey: Obama administration quietly backs out of appeal over new contraceptive mandate
Fred Weir: At Kerry-Putin meeting, US-Russia relations thaw --- a tad
The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Almost too pretty to eat, this colorful salad with Sicilian inspiration will tickle the taste buds and delight your visual sensibility
May 6, 2013
May 3, 2013
Kids, kittens the Same? With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell
Sandy Kleffman: Artificial kidney offers hope to patients tethered to a dialysis machine
April 29, 2013
Roy Gutman: Poland's new Jewish museum celebrates life, doesn't revisit Holocaust
Mark Clayton: Terrorism in America: Is US missing a chance to learn from failed plots?
Kim Murphy: Boston Bomber's 'Svengali' Revealed
Pete Spotts: Tiny satellites + cellphones = cheaper 'eyes in the sky' for NASA
April 26, 2013
Clifford D. May: Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism
Sharon Palmer, R.D.: How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty
April 24, 2013
|
| |
Jewish World Review
June 25, 2012
/ 5 Tammuz, 5772
A young entrepreneur who knows squat
By
Malcolm Fleschner
| 
|
|
|
|
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
We've finally reached the end of the school year, and you know what that means: A freshly minted crop of bright-eyed college graduates casting their hopeful gazes toward the future, mulling the endless possibilities before them, and leaving campus life behind forever as they take that big next step -- moving back in with their parents.
Because, sadly, no matter how bright-eyed the class of graduates, the job market for young people these days remains downright gloomy, causing recent alumni to scamper back home faster than Punxsutawney Phil after catching a glimpse of his shadow.
In fact, many recent college graduates who move back in with their parents are, according to one group of demographic researchers, "selfish and lazy slobs who leave dirty dishes and unwashed laundry all over the place, forcing their parents to do so much extra cleaning that they barely have time for their actual work as demographic researchers."
I was reminded of the perennial problem facing new graduates and parents when I read the story of Eric Simons, an enterprising 19-year-old who worked tirelessly out of AOL's Palo Alto offices last year, developing an educational software program. So what, right? Practically living at work while writing code is what programmers do when they're not tooling around town in $150,000 sports cars and partying with supermodels (note: most of my information about programmers comes from watching "The Social Network").
But Simons' story is unique in two important ways: first, he wasn't practically living at the AOL offices -- he was literally living there -- eating, sleeping, showering, texting, shower texting -- taking care of all of a 19-year-old's basic life necessities. And second, Eric was not even an AOL employee! He originally gained access to the building as part of a program the company runs to encourage budding entrepreneurs, but when the program ended and Simons found himself broke and with nowhere to go, he had the novel thought, "Hey, why go at all?"
Using his still-operational passkey to get into the building, Simons subsisted on a diet of ramen noodles, trail mix and cereal provided by AOL, showered in the on-site gym and slept on a variety of different sofas he discovered in lightly trafficked areas of the building. During the day Simons toiled away at developing a software application that helps teachers distribute lesson plans more effectively. Sadly, his experiment in corporate squatting came to an abrupt end after two months when a suspicious-minded AOL manager caught him one morning splayed out on a sofa, clearly having spent the whole night there ("The Spiderman pajamas gave him away," the manager explained).
Since the story of the so-called "AOL Squatter" broke last month, some have criticized Simons for taking improper advantage of AOL's generosity. But this country has a long and proud tradition of squatters taking up residence in living spaces to which they have, at best, dubious claim. In fact, that's pretty much the entire history of the United States in a nutshell. So clearly, if you're critical of Simons' squatting, you must hate America.
But most observers feel a grudging respect for Simons' ingenuity and moxie. Because let's face it, if you're looking to work in the tech industry and you don't want anyone to find you, what better place to hide than at AOL? Who even knew AOL still existed? And now, thanks to the publicity he's received, Eric has even drummed up interest from investors, including one venture capital firm that's already pumped $50,000 into his startup. An added bonus: hearing that a person can haul in 50 grand just for crashing on someone else's sofa will come as welcome news to the nation's legion of deadbeat brother-in-laws.
Which brings us to a solution to the problem I mentioned at the beginning of this column (so you don't have to look: it's recent college graduates moving back in with their parents). What with all the time kids spend on the Internet, watching television and movies, eating junk food and playing video games, corporations are probably even more responsible than actual parents for raising today's children. And as Mitt Romney has confirmed, corporations are people. So instead of moving back in with their parents, college grads with no place else to go should clearly follow Eric Simons' lead and move in with the "people" who really raised them: corporations.
If you think about it, it's the perfect solution. Kids and their (biological) parents don't have to live together again, risking reopening old wounds and causing irreparable family discord, while corporations get to fill all that unused office space since the last round of layoffs. Really, for the cost of a few cases of ramen noodles and a couple of extra sofas around the office, is that so much to ask of corporations? To help keep the American family together?
JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here.
Previously:
11/30/11 Do You Believe In Magic?
10/20/11 The Internet: Doing The Heavy Uplifting
08/31/11: Unhealthy Behavior? I Won't Stand For It!
12/01/10: It's Getting Better All The Time
08/24/10: Turn Down The Stereo(types)
06/24/10: The No Roamin' Holiday
06/08/10: Parenting On A Cellular Level
05/27/10: Older? Yes. Wiser? Not Necessarily
04/19/10: The Bossman Cometh
03/25/10: The Rules of Interaction
01/09/10: A ride of passage
12/26/09: The Family Power Struggle Goes On…
10/26/09: Rapidly approaching fuddyduddy-hood
06/20/09: Waging a backyard turf war
02/20/09: The Sties Have It
04/30/09: Planning of the Apes
04/08/09: No more phoning it in
02/26/09: Tuning in to the English Channel
02/19/09: 25 AND COUNTING
02/13/09: A new life, dead ahead
01/29/09: NOW STARRING ... EVERYBODY!
01/15/09: You know the type
01/08/09: Just in time, here comes 2009
11/20/08: Hotels go for the green
11/06/08: Something does not compute
10/30/08: Early adopters tech their chances
10/21/08: Cyberspace invaders
10/21/08: Keeping up disappearances
09/17/08: Victims of math hysteria
08/07/08: My newfound sense of self (promotion)
06/24/08: Getting the brand back together
05/29/08: Phrased and confused
05/13/08: Take this job and love it
04/17/08: News you can (re)use
04/02/08: Commercial (over)load
02/20/08: An overdose of reality
02/14/08: A developing situation
01/30/08: I can tech it or leave it
01/02/08: Confessions of a coke addict
01/02/08: Our bills are due
12/13/07: Going (to lunch) once, going twice…
11/28/07: Out with the old
11/06/07: My latest pet project
11/06/07: Can't tune it out
10/23/07: Something special in the hair
09/12/07: Can I have your attention, please?
09/12/07: Houston, we have an image problem
08/21/07: In the heat of fashion
08/09/07: Let's get in the game
06/13/07: You gonna eat that?
05/08/07: That's disinter-tainment
05/02/07:You Are (not) Getting Sleepy...
04/18/07: No time like Father Time
03/15/07: Deface the Nation
03/08/07: More gifts? You shouldn't have
02/22/07: Relationships can be such a chore
12/05/06: Who's calling the shots?
11/09/06: I'm taking selling to a whole new level
10/27/06: Some skills are beyond repair
10/18/06: You can't tech it with you
10/04/06: Award to the wise
08/24/06: Phrased and Confused
08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99
07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain
05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again?
05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script
04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies
03/16/06: The day the Muzak died
02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home
02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning
© 2006, Malcolm Fleschner
|
|
Arnold Ahlert
Mitch Albom
Jay Ambrose
Michael Barone
Barrywood
Lori Borgman
Stratfor Briefing
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Richard Z. Chesnoff
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Suzanne Fields
Christine Flowers
Frank J. Gaffney
Bernie Goldberg
Jonah Goldberg
Julia Gorin
Jonathan Gurwitz
Paul Greenberg
Argus Hamilton
Victor Davis Hanson
Betsy Hart
Ron Hart
Nat Hentoff
A. Barton Hinkle
Jeff Jacoby
Paul Johnson
Jack Kelly
Ch. Krauthammer
David Limbaugh
Kathryn Lopez
Rich Lowry
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Ann McFeatters
Dale McFeatters
Dana Milbank
Jeanne Moos
Dick Morris
Jim Mullen
Deroy Murdock
Judge A. Napolitano
Bill O'Reilly
Clarence Page
Kathleen Parker
Star Parker
Dennis Prager
Wesley Pruden
Tom Purcell
Sharon Randall
Robert Robb
Cokie & Steve Roberts
Heather Robinson
Debra J. Saunders
Martin Schram
Greg Schwem
Culture Shlock
David Shribman
Roger Simon
Lenore Skenazy
Michael Smerconish
Thomas Sowell
Ben Stein
Mark Steyn
John Stossel
Cal Thomas
Dan Thomasson
Bob Tyrrell
Diana West
Dave Weinbaum
George Will
Walter Williams
Byron York
ZeitGeist
Mort Zuckerman
Robert Arial
Chuck Asay
Baloo
Lisa Benson
Chip Bok
Dry Bones
John Branch
John Cole
J. D. Crowe
Matt Davies
John Deering
Brian Duffy
Everything's Relative
Mallard Fillmore
Glenn Foden
Jake Fuller
Bob Gorrel
Walt Handelsman
Joe Heller
David Hitch
Jerry Holbert
David Horsey
Lee Judge
Steve Kelley
Jeff Koterba
Dick Locher
Chan Lowe
Jimmy Margulies
Jack Ohman
Michael Ramirez
Rob Rogers
Drew Sheneman
Kevin Siers
Jeff Stahler
Scott Stantis
Danna Summers
Gary Varvel
Kirk Walters
Dan Wasserman
Tech Q&A
Mr. Know-It-All
Ask Doctor K
Richard Lederer
Frugal Living
On Nutrition
Bookmark These
Bruce Williams
|
