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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review

Shellacked in a foreign language

By Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Is it paranoid to think that the women at the Korean nail salon at the mall are talking about me?

This may come as a shock to y'all but I don't speak Korean all that well. OK, at all. So it's a little unnerving when, after scrutinizing my pitifully rough heels, one says something very loud which sounds like: "Dong Chow Hok Wad Hoe!" and the other scurries over, takes one look in the direction of my feet and laughs out loud.

I can only imagine that "Dong Chow Hok Wad Hoe" is Korean for: "Y'all look! This triflin' heifer has feet tougher'n woodpecker lips." I know what they're thinking: "Ooooh, birthday pedicure. Big spender."

One time, the nail tech took a long look at my feet and said with something approaching sorrow: "You work in garden all the time?"

I'm pretty sure that was a diss in any language.

I love these nail places because they're fast, they're reasonable and there's a better than average chance that one of the pictures on the wall will have one of those moving waterfalls in it. I love that crap.

And I love how, if they're busy, they just text more techs who magically appear in under a minute. How is that even possible? Were they hanging out at the pretzel stand waiting for the call? If so, wow.

The only downside is that they always try to suggest that you upgrade your service. On my last visit, it was a bright and cheery "Nail art today ma'am?" I hated to tell her that I was a little long in the tooth for yin/yang symbols on my big toe so I just shook my head a bit violently.

"New glitter acrylic?" another technician suggested with a big smile on her face. When I said, "No thank you," she looked as if I had just strangled her kittens. There is nothing sadder than the face of a Korean nail tech who experiences the firm decline of a service upgrade.

Did I really look like the glitter acrylic type? On the other hand, well, thank you.

Earlier in the week, I'd popped in for a quick manicure only to be dumped by my formerly attentive male technician as soon as a woman came in for a full acrylic set.

"Ding Bong Yuk Boo!" he said and a young woman rushed over to finish my less-expensive and infinitely less interesting mani. I felt like a rose-less bachelorette.

One day, I'll have these things done at some fancy spa but, for now, I'm in the chair in the center of the mall getting my eyebrows threaded every couple of months while (seriously) some redneck stands there eating a drippy ice cream cone and asking me, "Do it hurt?"

You can get a lot done for little money at the mall. And it's getting more personal all the time. Next up: Brazilian waxes in front of Forever 21. Hey, it could happen.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here.


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She'll take names, and then call them losers
I beg of you, spare the ‘Children’
Release the hoards
Brace yourself for a luxurious smile, and a big bill
Speaking her mind by pushing his buttons
She'll have another shot of mugs
Polygamy may only get one season
A picture is worth $1,000 for retouching
Not cancer, still a big fat pain
A text is worth 1,000 words
Ready for some laughs again
Now men don't have to work out either
Hormones rule home of Princess and mom
Add some oohing, cooing to your kitchen
Tweeting puppy a perfect pet … for twerps
Science fair spurs on hyper parents
Cat naps aren't all that popular among felines
Nightmare in the mall's dead zone
America: Cut out the need to be cute
Taking a page from a ‘Mad’ mother
She's adding truth serum to her Cap'n Crunch
Snuggie ensnares another victim, er, admirer
Florida can keep its snakes
She's homeless . . . but for $95 she can go home with your princess
Southern fish experiencing identity crises
Monkey baby big business for the small-minded
All mommixed up? Try keeping toes in a breath-mint tin
Thunder thighs finally get revenge
Where would I be without the digested read?
Butter buds: Julia and Celia
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Ch-ch-ch-changes
Getting refreshment not berry smooth in age of mass marketing
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Cuddle parties are the latest weird trend
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Somehow, we've all lost our internal censors
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Some things you probably don't need to know about your friends
Big family, big ratings, big mess
Fred Mertz for vice president
Women and tools are like grease, water
Runners are a different breed of folk altogether
Don't get all bento out of shape
For you, Princess? I'll buy junk
Gwyneth P. needs big ol' reality check
Reality show amuses yet repels viewer
Spying on kid at summer camp awfully fulfilling
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Trendy new ailment not for everybody
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Shagadelic on the dance floor
Ex-boyfriends can have the worst timing
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Sound bites not easy in Southern
I swear it's not my fault
Celebrity news gets weirder, trumps all else
Driver's license? Outta my way while I get `em
Like taking Miley Cyrus tickets from a baby
Driving under the influence of celebrity
Hugged your Webkinz today?
Hate mail spawned by humor columns
‘High School Musical’ rocks to the max!
Where did latest ‘syndrome’ come from?
Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama
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Office gossip is protected free speech
First-class corpse
Song lyrics have only gotten dumber
Talk to the clock because the ISP doesn't care
Being a happy human vessel has its limits
Who's not your daddy?
Phoning for dazzlers
Proper spelling begins at home
Sick of the waiting room
Road signs
Halt your motion toward the lotion
Sudoku's got my husband's number
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Spa me the kids
IRS wants us to like it so much that it smacks of desperation
Uniforms: Soul-sucking sameness
Girls' pajama parties a little different now
Welcome back for guilt-free manly man
A big boo-hoo for disgraced celebs
Girls' pajama parties a little different now
When Bubbas and hoes are extra welcome
Ageless icons can't escape their ages
Gifts to kids' teachers make competitive moms antsy

Kid bumper stickers sure not ‘terrific’

© 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services

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