Jewish World Review June 10, 2011 / 68 Sivan, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Senator John Kerry released a report on expenditures in Afghanistan which could hasten U.S. withdrawal. They are hesitant to embrace Western progress. Somehow we have to convince them that democracy doesn't mean their daughters have to follow Anthony Weiner on Twitter.
NBC star Alec Baldwin revealed interest in running for Mayor of New York next year after Anthony Weiner fell out. He has the actor's ego. Alec Baldwin will walk the streets after the next terrorist attack without a mask because he can't stand it when people don't recognize him.
President Obama's approval rating fell in the Gallup Poll amid fears that we are heading for another Great Depression. There is one sign. ABC just announced the next winners on Dancing with the Stars will be the couple that's still standing after twenty-four hours of dancing.
Realty Check reported Wednesday that bank foreclosures on homeowners are on the rise in cities across America. In Southern California, homeowners are getting killed by tumbling prices. In Orange County the ice cream truck plays Hang Down Your Head Tom Dooley.
The FDA assured Americans that Europe's E. coli outbreak isn't likely to spread across the pond to the U.S. The problem here is a salmonella outbreak. This week millions of Americans got nauseous after they opened up their retirement account statements and saw their nest eggs.
Delta apologized Wednesday for charging a U.S. Army unit three thousand dollars for extra baggage. It's nuts. Last night a guy who thought about booking a flight on Delta went online to check out prices and the airline charged him thirty dollars for thinking about booking a flight.
The Veterans Administration released a report Wednesday listing three hundred cases of sexual assault by VA patients on nurses over the last three years. No one's happy about it. It was a very bad idea to try to cut the suicide rate by having the nurses dress up like Betty Grable.
President Obama welcomed German Chancellor Angela Merkel to the White House Tuesday as Germany suffered an outbreak of E. coli from tainted lettuce, spinach, broccoli and other vegetables. The timing of the visit was bad news for Michelle Obama's healthy foods initiative. You don't die from eating a Snickers bar, and if you do at least you don't die inside the bathroom.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton