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December 2, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review June 17, 2010 / 5 Tamuz 5770

He's on vacation, but she needs a break

By Susan Reimer




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | My husband says I like the idea of him more than I like the reality of him and, after his week of vacation, I think that might be true.

A week off with pay was a fresh experience for a guy who keeps getting slapped with furloughs, so he was a little giddy about his time off.

You have to understand that this is a guy who commutes three hours a day and is often on the road. He barely has time to fill his own gas tank, let alone do his own errands. That, too, was a fresh experience for him and might explain why it took him six hours to find a pair of tennis shoes he was willing to spring for.

"What do you pay for shoes?" he asked in one of about 1,000 telephone calls to me during his vacation. When he found a two-for-one sale, I got a call about that, too.

"Just one question …" was the way these calls always began. And then he would ask something like, "Can you pay for that with a credit card?"

"How do you manage in the world?" I asked in bewilderment.

Apparently I've been wrong all these years, because he believes you can only take one package to the post office at a time.

"I'll go back tomorrow," he said.

"God!" I said. "If I did errands the way you do errands, I would still be in 1982!"

I got the roll of stamps I asked for on his second post office trip. I asked for them three months ago and, of course, I'd already purchased them.

"I figured when I remembered to buy them for you, that pretty much sealed it that you'd already bought them," he said.

"Anybody need any stamps?" I asked out loud.

"Just write more letters," he said.

I asked him to remove the old umbrella in the picnic table on the deck and replace it with the new one.

"Let me make a pot of coffee first," he said. "I'll have to think about that one."

The trip to the grocery store for a couple of items morphed into a trip to Sam's Club, where he purchased 500 Ziploc bags for me, a huge bag of apples and five pounds of raisins.

"I'll make apple crisp," my daughter whispered to me. She understands her father and didn't want to hurt his feelings.

When he began to clean out the garage, I thought he might be trying to provoke a divorce.

"Do you realize that this garage is filled with stuff you bought and never used?" he asked, showing me a receipt from 1991 for bathroom tile with my signature on the bottom.

Then he made a fuss about the jet engine-strength bathroom fan I'd purchased when my son was in high school and taking showers that lasted for hours. It never got installed.

"Yeah, well, you kept all the extra wallpaper from a million years ago. And the extra carpet from the carpet that we replaced six years ago," I said. "And you have the extra replacement carpet, too. What were you planning for, an oil spill?"

So he set up a sidewalk table and inked a sign: "Free stuff." On the table, he placed three different kinds of antifreeze, a car cup holder, a toolbox, a minnow bucket, stuffed Christmas figures, an easel, carpet, of course, bathroom tile and a jet engine-strength bathroom fan.

Somebody came and took the table.

My husband is back at work this week, and my marriage is better for it.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Susan Reimer is a columnist for The Baltimore Sun. Comment by clicking here.


Previously:

Conan says what we wish we could

Body image issues get a new meaning

A spreadsheet for happiness? Thanks, but I'll take the wine



© 2010, The Baltimore Sun. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.

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