Jewish World Review June 2, 2010 / 20 Sivan 5770
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
British Petroleum fitted a new pipe into the oil leak Monday to try to plug it up. They say the leak was caused by a bad underwater cement job. So it's the Republican Party's fault for not having the Mafia contacts to do underwater cement jobs properly.
New York was chosen to host the Super Bowl by a vote of NFL owners last week. The game will be played outdoors at night in February where blizzards and ice storms are common. The owners could not get a salary freeze so they went for the next best thing.
President Obama said Thursday he was shaving when his daughter Malia asked him if he'd plugged the hole. The next day he took his family to Chicago. He just saw the new poll numbers and wanted to show the kids where they'd be going to high school.
Louis Farrakhan's bodyguards faced down President Obama's Secret Service agents in a south Chicago neighborhood Saturday. The press corps was appalled. The biggest threat at the Crawford ranch was a vulture on the fence post reading the opinion polls.
The White House backed Congress's effort Friday to repeal the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy. It bans openly gay soldiers. Opponents say that sodomy should not be allowed in the military, it should only be allowed between defense contractors and taxpayers.
House Republicans gathered in the Capitol Rotunda to blast Democrats for using Bill Clinton to offer Joe Sestak a job. They spoke in front of Will Rogers's statue. Anytime Bill Clinton's in the scandal the comedians will stand behind you all the way.
Joe Sestak said Friday the White House got Bill Clinton to offer him an unpaid advisory post not to run against Arlen Specter. Legally, he would have had to resign from Congress to accept the unpaid post. The White House offered it to him in the belief that some people will do anything to qualify for foreclosure assistance.
Bill Clinton backed up the White House story that he offered Congressman Joe Sestak an unpaid post to drop out of the race against Arlen Specter. If the Republicans re-take Congress this fall he could end up testifying at Obama's impeachment trial in the U.S. Senate. Bill Clinton does impeachment trials the way other people do banquet speeches.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton