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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review June 5, 2009 / 13 Sivan 5769

Have baby gear, will travel

By Lori Borgman

Lori Borgman
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | There is an inverse ratio between the size of a baby and the amount of gear it needs to travel.


The grandbaby came to visit and the trunk and backseat of the car were crammed full of baby-related apparatus. I wasn't sure if they were coming for the weekend or moving cross-country.


Total, all the baby-related equipment must have weighed roughly 300 pounds and that figure does not include the mom or dad. It was about a 30:1 ratio — 30 pounds of gear for every one pound of baby.


It took five trips to get it all into the house. When they were ready to leave, it took 10 trips to get it all out. For a moment, it looked like they might have to rent a U-Haul. The fact that the stuff mushroomed is in no way the new parents' fault. Baby gear is like pasta salad, it multiplies every time you touch it.


A friend our son used to go camping with stopped by to see the baby and I heard the new papa say, "Come on out to the car and see what we travel with — it's way more than we ever took camping." These are guys who used to head out with sleeping bags, tents, boots, waders, fishing tackle, rubber rafts and cookware strapped to their backs.


Amateurs.


This baby could stuff all their camping gear in the cargo hold of her collapsible stroller and still have room for a 12-pack of diapers and box of wipes.


Once you're out of the baby business, it is easy to forget how much you have to lug around when you have an infant. There are a number of other things I had forgotten as well, including the fact that it is easier to put a Barbie swimsuit on a cube of Jell-O than to get a sleeper on an infant.


I'd also forgotten that when babies gain control of their necks, instead of making smooth movements from side to side, they jerk their heads like marionettes on short strings. Babies may be the original head-butters.


I'd also forgotten how a baby can command an audience. Talk about a stage presence — one wail and every adult in the room is on full alert: Is she hungry? Does she have gas? Is she in pain?


I was quickly reminded that babies and their parents are primarily engaged in the business of waste management. Babies produce it and parents manage it. It may be the only industry that can consistently boast a satin-smooth bottom line.


I was also reminded that babyhood is the only time of life in which people cheer you on for non-stop eating and sleeping.


When was the last time a family member said, "Why don't you take another two-hour nap, sweetie?" When did your doctor ever say, "What you need to do is focus on consuming calories and trying to pack some more fat on those thighs."


For babies, it is a productive day if they are able to eat, sleep, burp, and keep repeating the cycle.

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JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Catching Christmas" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.

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© 2009, Lori Borgman

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