Jewish World Review June 19, 2008 / 16 Sivan 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Southwest Airlines passengers got a scare landing in Phoenix Monday when smoke filled the cabin after a wheel blew out. It was a lesson in safety precautions. One woman nearly suffocated because she didn't have the twenty dollars for the oxygen mask.
Southern California's real estate home values took their steepest drop in over twenty years. Suburbs are hit hardest because driving back and forth to work is unaffordable. Gas is so expensive prisoners don't even want their sentences commuted.
Barack Obama told Michigan students Tuesday he would give them a four-thousand-dollar tax credit to help pay for college. It's rapidly getting out of reach. Only the rich will be able to afford college if Budweiser gets bought by a foreign brewery.
Barack Obama was televised attending a new church in Chicago Sunday. Democrats today are happy to display their religious faith. Walter Mondale once said there's no place for God in politics, and apparently God felt the same way about Walter Mondale.
Michelle Obama submitted her favorite cookie recipe for Family Circle's first lady contest Monday. Her personally-invented cookie recipe is shortbread cookies flavored with Amaretto. She made her first fortune catering AA conventions in Chicago.
Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama will appear together to meet donors next week at the Mayflower Hotel in Washington D.C. The hotel is a must-see for every tourist who visits the nation's capital. They sell Maps to the Hookers' Rooms in the gift shop.
Zimbabwe president Robert Mugabe warned the U.S. and Britain not to interfere in his runoff election. He rigged the last election to get in the run-off. U.S. monitors saw so much cheating they thought their plane accidentally landed in Chicago.
Joan Rivers was kicked off a British daytime talk show in the middle of a live broadcast on Tuesday for using expletives to describe Russell Crowe. She was happy to have the publicity. Joan Rivers is seventy-five years old but Ed McMahon has already proved that no who worked on the Tonight Show can ever afford to stop working.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton