Jewish World Review June 22, 2007 / 6 Tamuz, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Los Angeles Lakers owner Jerry Buss was in court for drunk driving Tuesday as Kobe Bryant asked to be traded. The coach couldn't be reached because he's sleeping with the owner's daughter. Paris Hilton might be in jail, but her important work continues.
NBC's Today show drew huge ratings Monday with an interview of Prince William and Prince Harry, who came across as humble, earnest, self-deprecating and respectful. They really have the best of both worlds. They've got their mother's looks and their father's driver.
China said Tuesday it will build a road up Mt. Everest as part of the route for the Olympic torch relay next year. There's controversy surrounding the project. No one wants to say they use child labor, but the contract to build the road went to Lego.
The U.S. Track and Field Championship starts Friday in Indianapolis. It could be quite a show. Ever since the border fences went up south of San Diego, America is enjoying an embarrassment of riches in pole vaulters and hurdlers and high jumpers.
The Los Angeles School Board on Monday reported record low graduation rates among L.A. students, coupled with a record high drop-out rate. Don't feel sorry for them. As drywall contractors who get paid under the table they're doing better than doctors.
Mayor Mike Bloomberg hinted Tuesday that he may run for president. He's a self-made billionaire and a former defendant in a sexual harassment suit. For the first time in fifteen years comedians aren't forced to support the Clintons out of self-interest.
Barack Obama apologized to Hillary Clinton for his campaign staff calling her the Democrat from Punjab. It's too late. Her campaign is already striking back by spreading rumors in South Carolina that Barack Obama has fathered two black children.
Bill and Hillary Clinton shot a commercial in a diner spoofing the last scene of The Sopranos. It's not the first time they acted like mobsters. They spent so much time in front of grand juries, the Sons of Italy granted them honorary membership.
Rudy Giuliani's South Carolina campaign chairman was caught with five hundred grams of cocaine. He was just doing his job. For months he's been told that the GOP presidential nomination would go to whichever candidate can energize the base.
Congress passed a bill Wednesday that would give the Justice Department extra hundreds of millions of dollars to reopen unsolved cases from the civil rights era. So much has changed. Forty years ago nobody ever dreamed that whistling at a white woman could someday get you lynched for sexual harassment in the workplace.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton