Jewish World Review June 21, 2007 / 5 Tamuz, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Tiger Woods and his wife Elin rested comfortably Tuesday after a long two days in the maternity ward together. What timing. Elin had a baby girl less than one day after Tiger lost the U.S. Open to an overweight Argentine chain smoker and had a cow.
Al Pacino got a Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Film Institute on Tuesday. For thirty-five years he's played Mafia bosses, cocaine dealers and Las Vegas casino owners. Al Pacino's birthday is a national holiday in the Cayman Islands.
Hillary Clinton picked Celine Dion's song You and I as her campaign theme song on Tuesday. It's a clever way to carry her fellow Baby Boomers with subliminal advertising. Whenever they hear anything Canadian, they think anti-war and free drugs.
Business Week said Monday that housing construction just had its steepest slide in sixteen years. There are lots of unemployed construction workers. They just told Lou Dobbs they'll build the border fence for free if they can build it from the north side.
The U.S. Senate grilled the State Department in hearings Monday over the backlog in passport applications. Travel rules vary. You need a passport to travel from the United State to Mexico but to come back you just need a bottle of water and a compass.
Pacman Jones got into another strip bar shoot-out in Atlanta Saturday. He was just suspended. He promised the NFL commissioner he would turn everything around, but the very first night he tried it the strippers refused to turn their backs on him.
L.A. Lakers owner Jerry Buss was charged with drunk driving Tuesday. The seventy-four-year-old bachelor was pulled over with his twenty-three-year-old date. He was so grateful to be stopped by the CHP and not by that guy from Dateline who catches predators.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton