Jewish World Review June 15, 2007 / 29 Sivan, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Concert for Princess Diana, it was announced Tuesday, will air on NBC in two weeks. The princess was a publicity-loving blonde who loved to drive fast and date a lot of men. She was destined to die either in a Paris tunnel or a Los Angeles jail.
The U.S. Open began Thursday at the famed Oakmont Country Club. It's monstrously long with the world's thickest rough and fastest greens. The golfers got a bleak assessment of the course conditions yesterday morning and it was from General Petraeus.
New York Governor Eliot Spitzer backed a medical marijuana bill Wednesday. The reaction was swift. Within the hour, Miami Dolphins running back Rickey Williams asked to be traded to the New York Jets where he could get treatment for his hamstring.
The Federal Aviation Administration warned Tuesday that air travelers face the worst flight delays in history this summer. It's the huge volume of vacation travel. The only way to avoid this hassle is to stay home and tip every third person you see.
Hillary Clinton gave a high school commencement speech at Constitution Hall in Washington D.C. on Wednesday. She loves speaking at school graduations. Normally when she tells people how they should live, they are not required to sit still for it.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton