Jewish World Review June 12, 2007 / 26 Sivan, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Sopranos final episode Sunday angered fans with its unresolved ending. The producers didn't know whether Tony should get killed, be indicted or take over the New York mob. The Decider was at the G-8 Summit in Europe and nobody could pick an ending.
President Bush returned Monday from the G-8 Summit meeting in Germany where he was met with huge anti-war protests. They didn't seem to like him at all. You know you've got an image problem when the Germans think you're invading too many countries.
Alex Rodriguez hit two homers Sunday to maintain his Major League lead in home runs. This is great news for the commissioner. Strippers have the same effect on home-run hitters as steroids and Congress will never have the nerve to ask for testing.
John Daly charged his wife Thursday with trying to stab him with a steak knife at a restaurant. She just served jail time for cocaine trafficking. The next night she got a standing ovation at her recovery meeting for making the attempt to eat again.
The New York Times said Sunday that cocaine use in nightclubs is back in style big-time among young people in their twenties. That's bad news. The good news is Congress can stop worrying about the projected cost of Medicare in forty years.
Colin Powell acknowledged Sunday he's met with Senator Barack Obama to advise him on foreign policy and military matters. It's obvious. Just last week Obama went to the U.N. to complain that Hillary Clinton has chemical and biological weapons.
Hillary Clinton was in Detroit Sunday to address an AFL-CIO convention meeting there. They love her. Whenever Bill used to come downstairs to the White House pressroom with a black eye, you could tell by the fine work that she had hired a union goon.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton