Jewish World Review June 7, 2007 / 21 Sivan, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The New York Times decided to back the immigration reform bill Wednesday. They commissioned a poll which found that most Americans favor the bill. The newspaper got a price break on the poll because it has a margin of error of one hundred percent.
President Bush arrived at the G-8 Summit meeting in Germany Tuesday. He and world leaders are encircled by an eight-foot-high chain-link fence topped by razor wire. Their three-day meeting could inspire a brand new production of Hogan's Heroes.
Republicans held a presidential debate Tuesday at St. Anselm College in New Hampshire, where the candidates were forced to defend the president's war and the president's immigration reform bill. You have to feel sorry for these guys. Ronald Reagan left his party a legacy and George W. Bush left them a Superfund clean-up site.
GOP maverick candidate Ron Paul appeared on the Daily Show Monday. The former doctor said he doesn't believe in the principle of government-run health care and never took any money from Medicare. It would be a lot more principled if he weren't an obstetrician.
Hillary Clinton squared off with evangelicals in Washington Tuesday. She said she was raised in a faith suspicious of people who wear their faith on their sleeves. A robber once shot a Methodist because he refused to raise his arms in the sanctuary.
Native American Indian tribes reported income of twenty-six billion dollars last year from gambling revenue. This could be catastrophic. If the Arab countries ever find out there's something more profitable than oil, we'll have to run our cars on spit.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton