Jewish World Review June 5, 2007 / 19 Sivan, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Sheik Mohammed bin Rashid al-Maktoum purchased the breeding rights to Kentucky Derby winner Street Sense. There's just no explaining the laws of attraction. The question is, how is this horse going to run in the Belmont with a veil over its head?
Los Angeles County Jail officials were incensed by the media mob that gathered for Paris Hilton's entry to jail. She won't be out of the headlines for long. Her publicist has arranged for Phil Spector to drive her home the day she's released.
Alex Rodriguez was heckled Sunday by Red Sox fans wearing blonde wigs to mimic the stripper he's seeing. His wife stands by him. If Hillary becomes president, Mrs. Rodriguez could be appointed to the U.S. Senate's cheated-on wife seat from New York.
Iowa's Democratic Party held a giant fundraising dinner on Saturday. They felt pretty bloated the next day. They served six hundred pounds of corn, two thousand pounds of steak, six hundred pounds of potatoes, and the band's drummer is missing.
The Democrats held a presidential debate in New Hampshire Sunday and it was a lot of fun. At the end of a Republican debate, America is about to be attacked, Abdul-Somebody has weapons of mass destruction and there are terrorists in the control towers, but at the end of a Democratic debate, the war is over, college is free, everybody has health care and the Cubs are in the World Series.
Chicago Cubs manager Lou Piniella was suspended Sunday for on-field rage. He just wants to lead the Cubs to a world title. Before that happens, Betty White will announce to the entire world that she has found happiness in the arms of Michael Vick.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton