Jewish World Review June 29, 2006 / 3 Tamuz, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Major League Baseball last week started offering caskets inscribed with team logos. It's a new low in marketing. For another hundred dollars, a Billy Martin impersonator will conclude the burial rites by kicking the dirt back into the grave.
SmartPill began a marketing campaign Monday for an electronic monitor the size of a vitamin pill. You can swallow it like a pill and it broadcasts data about your digestive tract to your doctor's office computer. Like there isn't enough crap on the Internet.
Bill Gates said Tuesday he will retire from Microsoft in two years to devote his entire life to curing diseases. He had just gone through one of those life-altering experiences. The night before, he was held up at gunpoint by an ATM machine.
The London Times revealed Monday that Hillary Clinton's ancestors and George Washington's ancestors are from the same county in England. That says a lot. They both came from Cavalier families who fled to America after the English Civil War to escape the wrath of the Puritans, if you ever wondered what Hillary had in common with Bill.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton