Jewish World Review June 8, 2006 / 12 Sivan, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The White House offered Tuesday to sell Iran nuclear
technology if they agree to halt uranium enrichment. We won't make
the same mistake as in Iraq. This time we will know the enemy
possesses weapons of mass destruction because we'll have the receipt.
Hallmark Channel bought the rights Monday to air March of
the Penguins. The birds march in single file across ice for weeks
without food in order to breed. The movie is a lesson to young
people that there are worse things than Internet dating.
Patrick Kennedy said Monday he does not want special
treatment in the investigation of his car crash. He said he wants
to be treated like an African-American. Since he won't be allowed
to drive, he might as well have a lucrative shoe contract.
Newt Gingrich won a Republican Party presidential straw poll
in Minnesota on Saturday. He resigned as House Speaker to divorce
his second wife and marry his intern. The Republicans aren't
conceding the adultery vote to the Clintons just yet.
Canadian police said Tuesday they stopped a Toronto
terrorist plot. The plan was to capture the prime minister and
behead him on television. On hearing the news, Democrats vowed to
redouble their effort to capture control of Congress this November.
India News Agency reports a thirty-year-old girl married a king cobra Monday in a traditional Hindu ceremony attended by two thousand guests. The reptile remained inside his hole and refused to come to the wedding. Snakes can be such men.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton