Jewish World Review June 7, 2006 / 11 Sivan, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Superman Returns, it was announced Friday, will open this
month two days earlier than originally scheduled. Moviegoers can't
wait to see the Man of Steel save the planet from destruction.
Until you've seen Al Gore in a cape and tights, you haven't seen it all.
Gas Station TV said Monday they will install television sets
at five hundred gas stations and broadcast to motorists filling up
their gas tanks. Imagine the programming. It's the perfect place
to watch Debbie Does Dallas while Exxon does you.
The World Cup soccer championship is set to begin Friday at
Olympic Stadium in Berlin. There are reports of racist fan
behavior. Soccer World readers just voted Animal House the second
funniest movie in history behind Mississippi Burning.
The Pentagon called up Eskimo Indians in Alaska's National
Guard to serve in Iraq Monday. They are the world's foremost
experts at ice fishing. It's the time of year when the ice caps
melt and they have to call off the search for Jimmy Hoffa.
Toronto police arrested seventeen terrorists on Monday and
broke up their plot to bomb buildings in Canada. It's no secret
who's behind it. The plot was masterminded by Mexican President
Vicente Fox to divert U.S. troops from the southern border.
Bill Clinton gave the Class Day speech to graduating seniors at Princeton University on Monday. People in the media watch him like a hawk. Last week when Bill Clinton was rumored to be the next U.N. Secretary-General, the Comedians Union in New York City issued a statement thanking the Lord for his generous bounty.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2006, Argus Hamilton