Jewish World Review June 6, 2006 / 10 Sivan, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Roger Clemens signed a lucrative deal to pitch for the
Houston Astros Friday, ending his brief retirement. Only the
nation's oil capital can afford him. The contract is so rich that
Anna Nicole Smith is already claiming that he's the father.
Wedding Crashers won Best Movie at the MTV Awards Sunday.
It's about two guys who sneak into weddings to seduce the
vulnerable bridesmaids. Democrats should use it as a candidate
training film if they ever hope to have another Bill Clinton.
Al Gore promoted his movie An Inconvenient Truth on the talk
shows Sunday. He gets a ton of publicity. Al Gore's portrait is on
the wall at every Gambler's Anonymous meeting because he is the
only man in history who quit while he was ahead.
The World Cup begins Friday at Berlin's Olympic Stadium. A
German government official has warned dark-skinned people not to
visit rural towns in Germany. You have to admit they've come a
long, long way since a person's religion was the issue.
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said Sunday he might
go to Berlin to watch the World Cup. He's a virulent anti-Semite
who calls for the destruction of Israel and denies the Holocaust.
It's not a trip he is making to Germany, it's a pilgrimage.
The New York Times reports that German soccer fans make monkey sounds when a black player comes on the field. It's an appalling reminder. Hitler's home-run records will never be broken no matter how much human growth hormone Osama bin Laden injects.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton