Jewish World Review June 1, 2006 / 5 Sivan, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Miami Dolphins star Ricky Williams plays for the Toronto
Argonauts tonight as he begins serving his one-year NFL suspension
for illegal drug use in the Canadian Football League. Canadians
are reportedly outraged. Australia is the prison colony.
Western Washington University students on Tuesday rolled out
an automobile which runs on cow manure. It isn't going to be any
better. Wisconsin dairy farmers are already issuing statements
calling for the destruction of Israel.
Henry Paulson took a thirty-six-million-dollar annual pay
cut on Tuesday to leave Goldman Sachs and become Treasury
Secretary. He took the job for the perks. How many guys can
promise chicks he can put their picture on the three-dollar bill?
U.S. senators said Monday they are getting bricks in the
mail from voters demanding a wall on the Mexican border. It won't
go unanswered. Mexico is circulating a petition in the United
Nations declaring pole-vaulting sticks to be a basic human right.
The National Spelling Bee was held this week in Washington D.C. with the winner crowned Thursday. The children from India are always at a distinct disadvantage during the final rounds. Their cell phones keep ringing with customer service calls.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton