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Jewish World Review June 17, 2005 / 10 Sivan, 5765 Giving dear old Dad his due By Rich Lowry
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Dad is countercultural. If he is responsible, loving and
married, he might seem boring and a constant provocation to his
eye-rolling teenage children, but he stands at the ramparts of a
movement to save the country from the most destructive trend of the
past 30 years: father absence.
The proportion of out-of-wedlock births rose 600 percent from
1960 to 2000, and the divorce rate more than doubled between 1965
and 1980. Roughly 24 million children now live in homes where the
biological father is absent about one out of every three
children. This is a social disaster. Children need their fathers,
and they need them in the home, which, as a practical matter, means
their fathers have to be married to their mothers.
This is a thoroughly common-sensical notion, but so retrograde
that almost no one dared utter it for a couple of decades. Not
anymore. Even left-leaning intellectuals like Isabel Sawhill of The
Brookings Institution and Bill Galston of the University of Maryland
are forthright supporters of intact married families. But much of
the left still can't muster enthusiasm for fathers as anything other
than the men who should, if circumstances warrant, be forced to make
child-support payments.
The evidence for the importance of traditional fatherhood is
overwhelming. "Children who grow up in father-absent homes are more
likely to suffer from child abuse, poverty, low academic
achievement, drug use, emotional and behavioral problems, and
suicide," according to a report from the influential National
Fatherhood Initiative (from which most of the data in this column is
drawn).
As anyone who has ever had a father i.e., all of us should
know, a father's love is irreplaceable. Research shows that
withdrawal of love by either the father or mother is equally
important in predicting a child's well-being. So much for only
mothers being the "nurturing ones." And nothing so endangers a
child's reliably receiving the love of a father than family breakup.
Twenty years after a divorce, one-quarter of girls and less than
a third of boys say they are close with their fathers. In contrast,
70 percent of children of intact families say they have close
relationships with their fathers. Half of children living without
their fathers have never been in their fathers' homes. In one study,
only 27 percent of children older than 4 saw their nonresident
father at least once a week in the past year, and 31 percent had no
contact whatsoever.
The rates of out-of-wedlock births and divorce have leveled off
recently. But cohabitation no substitute for marriage has
continued to climb. Children of cohabiting parents are closer in
their indicators of well-being to the children of single parents
than they are to children of two-parent families. Three-quarters of
cohabiting parents split up before their children reach age 16.
Middle-income couples are obviously part of the equation too.
The culture should be attempting to reach them with the message that
all marriages have problems and usually they are soluble. An
activist named Mike McManus has been promoting pre-marriage
counseling through churches for young couples. A public-interested
philanthropist could do worse than pouring resources into an
expanded version of his "Marriage Savers" program.
In the meantime, give dear old traditional dad his due. He might
not be cool, but he's important. We need more of him.
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© 2005 King Features Syndicate |
Arnold Ahlert | |||||||||||