Jewish World Review June 27, 2005 / 20 Sivan, 5765
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Congress threatened on Friday to void the proposed purchase
of Unocal Oil by China's state-owned oil company. It's not a good
idea. The trouble with allowing China to own gas stations is, an
hour after you fill up the car, you're empty again.
Saddam Hussein authored a historical novel set in ancient
Babylon that will be published Thursday. His daughter said he
finished writing the book just one day before the U.S. invaded
Iraq. Writers would never get anything done if it weren't for deadlines.
Karl Rove was denounced by Democrats Friday for stating that
liberals wanted to give the September 11th attackers therapy and
understanding. Is he out of his mind? The liberal reaction to a
surprise attack is still a sore spot with Japan.
Howard Dean warned Friday that Democrats are losing Hispanic
voters to the Republicans. Advertising makes it happen, Howard.
They haven't been here ten years and already they want to be white
Christians who never worked a day in their lives.
The California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection
announced Thursday that they are bringing in goats to help prevent
wildfires from breaking out. It proves one thing. Trends come and
trends go, but Jack Nicholson will always work.
Buckingham Palace revealed Thursday that the Royal Family
costs each British taxpayer a little over one dollar a year. That
is amazing. To match this comedy bargain you would have to find a
DVD of old Lucy shows in the Wal-Mart discount bin.
The U.S. Supreme Court ruled cities may seize private homes
and tear them down to build shopping centers. That's progress.
Every city wants to turn blighted areas into chic boutiques that
can tell Oprah Winfrey six o'clock means six o'clock.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton