Jewish World Review June 22, 2005 / 15 Sivan, 5765
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Bill Clinton negotiated with Clear Channel Monday for his
own national radio show. The talks aren't going well. He wants a
million a year to talk about AIDS and Africa and they want to pay
him ten million a year to give relationship advice.
The New York Mercantile Exchange saw oil prices hit an all-
time record sixty dollars per barrel on Monday. It's getting way
out of hand. Those little glass booths where they take your money
at gas stations now have their own Mile High Club.
The King Tut exhibit drew big crowds in Los Angeles on
Saturday. It includes carvings of warriors in chariots shooting
arrows at each other. Attendance went up seventy percent when Los
Angelenos found out he was killed in a freeway shooting.
Democrat Senator Bob Byrd revealed Monday that his new book
will tell of his membership in the Ku Klux Klan as a young man.
Response on the Senate floor was predictable. The Republicans and
the Democrats spent eleven hours calling each other Nazis and then
moved to adjourn.
Vietnam's prime minister arrived in Washington Monday for a
meeting at the White House. It caused a lot of old blood to boil
over. Just the sight of him in Washington caused John McCain to go
on three television shows and confess everything.
MasterCard announced Friday that forty million credit card
numbers were stolen by hackers. Everybody was advised to check for
bogus charges. The call volume to customer service is so heavy
that the entire telephone system of India could go down.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton