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May: Al Qaeda vs. Hezbollah Harvard Health Letters: Fighting back against allergy season Kimberly Lankford: Grandparents who use FSA to cover grandkid's braces and other must-know info Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom:J ewish Tony Nominees/Tony Awards; Jewish Teen Actor In Sci-Fi Flick; Jewish singer in "Voice" finals The Kosher Gourmet by Anjali Prasertong: A tart filling so good it might not make it to the crust June 5, 2013 John Rosemond: Mom, Dad: Talk More and listen less Kristen Chick: Egypt court sentences 43 pro-democracy workers to prison Sharon Palmer, R.D.: Mushrooms Have Medicinal As Well As Culinary Value Morgan Housel: Why you never learn from your investment mistakes Don Lee: In China, kindergarten rivalry takes deadly turn The Kosher Gourmet by Sara Kate Gillingham-Ryan: 30-Minute Coq au Vin isn't a dream June 3, 2013 Molly Hennessy-Fiske: Military judge to consider letting Fort Hood shooting defendant represent himself Richard A. Serrano: Pvt. Bradley Manning's WikiLeaks trial also a test for government Mark Trumbull: Have degree, driving cab: Nearly half of college grads are overqualified Kim Lankford: What to do when long-term care insurance premiums rise Deborah Netburn: Study: Adults' mouth bacteria may help babies Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom: Jewish Contestant on 'The Voice'; Will Smith's 'Jewish movie family'; Bravo Gives Long Island Jews the Jersey Shore Treatment; Magicians and More The Kosher Gourmet by Bill Ward: How to be as refined as the wines at a wine tasting May 29, 2013 Andrew Connelly and Helene Bienvenu: The Little Synagogue that Refused to Die Dennis Prager: The 'Muslims-Killed-by-the-West' Lie David Clark Scott: Open war on teachers? 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Jewish World Review June 30, 2005 / 23 Sivan, 5765 Competing with Canada, Mexico offers gay divorces By Andy Borowitz U.S. tightens both borders http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | One day after the Canadian House of Commons voted to make gay marriages legal across Canada, Mexican President Vicente Fox announced that gay divorces would be legal across Mexico. In a nationally televised address, President Fox acknowledged that offering gay divorces nationwide in Mexico was a "drastic measure," but added that it was necessary to compete with Canada's bold move. "Canada stands to reap billions in tourist dollars from couples seeking gay marriages," he said. "But when those marriages go south, we want those tourist dollars to go south, too." Speaking directly to the gay married population, Mr. Fox said, "When your gay marriage isn't so gay anymore, say 'Ola' to Mexico." Privately, aides to President Fox said he was "furious" at the Canadians for legalizing gay marriage across the country on Tuesday, since he had been planning for months to offer "quickie" gay marriages across Mexico. "Vicente was totally pissed at the Canadians when they legalized gay marriages," one aide to Mr. Fox said. "They only did it to make up for the loss of hockey." At the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said that Canada's decision to offer gay marriages, coupled with Mexico's decision to offer gay divorces, would cause the U.S. to tighten both borders. "We don't want to turn the United States of America into some kind of thoroughfare for unhappy gay couples sprinting for Splitsville," Mr. Chertoff said, adding that the Department of Homeland Security would raise the alert level to pink. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. BOROWITZ'S LATEST "The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers"   This book has page after page of "news stories" too hot, too controversial, too   —   yes, shocking   —   for the mainstream press to handle. Sales help fund JWR. Comment by clicking here. JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, the first-ever recipient of the National Press Club's Award for Humor, is a former president of the Harvard Lampoon,and a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville. Andy's Archives © 2005, Andy Borowitz

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