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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review June 8, 2005 / 1 Sivan, 5765

Russell Crowe incident brings renewed call for phone control

By Andy Borowitz


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Phone-control activists march on Washington

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | One day after actor Russell Crowe hurled a telephone at a hotel desk clerk, cutting the man below the right eye, thousands of activists marched on Washington calling for Congress to adopt stricter phone-control measures.


Chanting "Hell, No Phone for Crowe," the protesters marched up and down in front of the Capitol in what organizers called the largest phone-control demonstration ever.


The phone-control movement, one of the most persistent and vocal lobbying groups in Washington, has long warned lawmakers about the dangers of easily available phones falling into the hands of volatile, babyish movie stars.


But the Crowe incident, which occurred early Monday morning in New York City, may be the catalyst the movement has been seeking to raise Congress' awareness about the need for phone control.


"What are they waiting for - for Russell Crowe to throw his cell phone at a flight attendant in first class when he doesn't get his martini fast enough?" said Bobbi Deetmer, one of the rally's organizers. "The time to act is now."


But even as the phone-control movement appears to be reaching critical mass, their opponents, the powerful phone rights lobby, is warning legislators not to demonize all phone owners because of the behavior of one hot-tempered Australian movie star.


Davis Brogan, a powerful pro-phone lobbyist in Washington, held a press conference to deliver what he called an important message to Congress: "The fact is, phones don't cut hotel desk clerks below the eye — Russell Crowe cuts hotel desk clerks below the eye."


Elsewhere, the government reported that murder and violent crime are down everywhere except on TV.

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JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, the first-ever recipient of the National Press Club's Award for Humor, is a former president of the Harvard Lampoon,and a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville.

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© 2005, Andy Borowitz

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