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December 2, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review May 21, 2014 / 21 Iyar, 5774

Fireplug Felons Won't Wreck Rahm!

By Roger Simon



JewishWorldReview.com | CHICAGO — It was not the worst weekend in recent memory. Only two men were killed and 26 others wounded in shootings in Chicago from Friday night to Sunday night.

The last time I had cause to write about shooting sprees in my hometown was a month ago when 36 people were shot in 36 hours.

So the shooting of 26 plus the killing of two is no longer the stuff of back-fence conversation. (Unless, of course, your back fence is in one of the neighborhoods where people are being shot like ducks in a shooting gallery — though maybe a back fence would not be the wisest place to hang out.)

What really caught my interest was a different kind of crime story that happened over the same weekend: On Saturday, on the South Side, two men in their 50s were arrested for stealing fire hydrants at 11:30 in the morning.

The Chicago Sun-Times reported: "The two men already had one fire hydrant loaded in the back of their 1997 Ford F-150 pickup truck and were attempting to place the second hydrant — which was damaged when the men removed it — in the back when police arrived, according to the report. Authorities didn't talk about the motive in the alleged theft."

Let's forget about motive for a moment and talk about means. Do you know how much a fire hydrant weighs? Neither did I. So I put my crack research staff (Google) on the question.

According to Quality Hydrant Co., which specializes in repair, a fire hydrant weighs "a minimum of 500 pounds" and can be both difficult and dangerous to get out of the ground.

Think about it. You see fire hydrants every day. Do you think they are just sitting there waiting for someone to lug them off? Take a close look at them. I think you will find them bolted in place.

But here were two middle-aged men, one 50 and one 51, who had the skill, strength and gumption to load two hydrants into the back of a pickup truck.

These men, however, are not to be admired. What they allegedly did was not only felonious but socially irresponsible. They deprived a community of two fire hydrants, putting residents at risk should a fire have broken out.

That is not the only problem I have with them, however. And it is a problem I learned about when I was a cub reporter covering the Criminal Court Building, an unlovely behemoth on the Southwest Side, considered by some to be the busiest courthouse in America, dispensing justice — or a reasonable facsimile thereof — in 21,000 cases per year.

I forget the details of the particular case, but some sad individual had been caught stealing cars — a common crime, though in this case he had been caught stealing them from a police station parking lot.



Why would he do something so stupid? I asked the cop who had testified at the trial.

The cop snorted. "We catch the stupid ones first," he said. "The smarter ones take a little longer."

So consider the accused fireplug felons. They are accused not only of boosting large, heavy objects but of boosting them at 11:30 on a Saturday morning!

Did the phrase "under the cover of darkness" not occur to them as an option?

I know what some of you are saying: The two are obviously drug addicts who were looking for something they could sell for a quick fix.

But even assuming there is a huge market for stolen fireplugs, wouldn't it have been easier to sell the 1997 Ford F-150 pickup truck they were driving?

I have checked the Internet for prices on used fireplugs and on scrap metal, and the whole operation makes little sense to me. I don't know whether either of the accused has a criminal record, but even without one, they both face more than a year in prison if convicted.

Prosecutors are sure to argue that fireplug theft is a "gateway" crime. Today you steal a Chicago fireplug; tomorrow you steal the Picasso statue or the John Hancock Center.

Mayor Rahm Emanuel, facing re-election next year with low approval ratings and shocking spasms of crime, could make the two an example.

I can see the 30-second ad now: Rahm hugging a fireplug, his voice breaking with emotion as he says: "I saved our fireplugs. Now let me save our city."

The judge is likely to throw the book at these two. So let this be a lesson:

No matter how you look at it, the most you can get out of stealing a fireplug is a hernia.

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