First Person

In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review

6 ways to build trust in your relationships

By Mayra Bitsko

In any relationship, trust is a key component. And once you lose trust in someone, it is hard to open up to someone else. But, it is not impossible to trust, again | Trusting in people does not happen overnight. Putting your trust in someone takes a while to build. Once the trust is established, it's important to respect it. If not, the amount of time it took to build will only take seconds to crumble.

Often, you are able to rebuild the trust if you and the other person are willing to put in the time. But, in the back of your mind, you will always have doubts. In some cases, you lose trust in someone and decide it is not worth rebuilding. Moreover, you begin to have trust issues with other people.

Not too long ago, I lost trust in a really good friend. She managed to turn the many private conversations we shared into a public display. She promised to be there for me during times of need and never followed through. After accepting excuse after excuse, I realized the trust was one-sided. A similar situation occurred with a couple of family members. The information I would share with them was used against me. They managed to twist my words around. The moment I realized they took advantage of my trust, I decided to keep my distance. Even though I wanted to give it another try, I was unsure on how to go about it.

While attending a retreat on trust, I learned lessons that would have benefited me during those situations. I learned when it comes to rebuilding trust, it takes more than one person. It includes all parties involved in the issue. Sometimes taking a person's word that he will work at being trustworthy again is not always the answer. There are ways that can help you rebuild trust or create trust with someone new in your life. The important thing to remember is it will take a significant amount of time to build.

Relationships — family, friends, co-workers, marriage or parent and child — should never experience a one-sided trust. Relationships of that degree do not function. Therefore, following these techniques can help build trust in your relationships:

  • Eye contact. If you are a shy person as I am, it is normal not to make eye contact. However, being shy is not always the case. People tend to look away because they are unsure of a person's intentions or because they have something to hide. Therefore, when you are about to open up to someone new in your life or give someone a second chance after a loss of trust, make an attempt to confront the person eye to eye. If the person responds to you by making eye contact as well while maintaining a calm demeanor, then you know there is potential for a trustworthy relationship.

  • Get to know each other. Oftentimes teenagers assume their parents do not understand them and cannot be trusted with certain feelings. Instead of shutting down lines of communication, set family day. At this time, ask each other questions such as each others' likes and dislikes or opinions on certain matters. By opening up to each other, parents and children will learn how to bring down their guards, understand the value of their relationship, and begin to feel confident to trust one another.

  • Address the incident. Not everyone intentionally betrays someone's trust. People make mistakes all the time without realizing what they've done. Instead of walking away from the relationship immediately, give the incident some time to simmer down and then speak about what transpired. Depending on how the person responds to the discussion, you will get a sense if he is genuine or not. If the tone is nonchalant or an apology seems insincere, chances are he has no remorse for his actions.


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  • Keeping your word. We find ourselves in relationships with people who continuously make promises they cannot keep. If we approach them with the issue, they have an excuse each time. But if someone honestly has your best interest at hand, he will keep the promise.

  • Speaking from the heart. Opinions and advice from family and friends should come from a good place. When it does, they speak with concern and tenderness and free of judgments. They are careful with your feelings.

  • Signs of improvement. If people are legitimate about wanting to change their ways and gain your trust, they will begin to show signs of improvement. Promises will be kept. They'll be there when you need them. They'll be honest. They will not repeat the same mistakes, again.

Once you break someone's trust, it will take time to rebuild. And in some cases, it can never be recovered. Trust is a vital component in any relationship and should never be taken for granted.

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Mayra Bitsko is the author of A Second Chance and The Past Beckons and holds a master's degree in business administration-accounting.

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