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December 2, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review

Self-sabotage: How to cut it out

By Becky Rickman


CREDIT: Shutterstock



Here are some sensible tips that will enable you to be all that you can be


JewishWorldReview.com | Many of us get "just this close" to success and then shoot ourselves in the foot. There is something deep inside us that holds us back to the place we are most comfortable - failure.

The worst part is that we often recognize it in others before we see it in ourselves. When we see it in our children, it is time to do something about it for everyone's sake.


Here are some things to understand about self-sabotage:


1. From acorns.

It can start small with things like being overly modest or procrastination. We tend to do just enough to hold us back from being the best we can be.


2. To oak trees.

It can elevate to behaviors like drug and alcohol abuse, affairs and self-harm. This is where self-sabotage gets even more dangerous and can lead to broken hearts, broken homes and broken lives.


3. Not an act, but a process.

Self-sabotage is not a single act, but rather a mindset-driven and very complicated process that becomes a lifestyle.


4. Abnormal fear.

It is a way of avoiding the discomfort we might imagine comes with success. We would rather stay in our comfort zone - the only life we may have known - rather than venture into the life we could have. If we have only known poverty, that is where we are comfortable. If we have only known bad relationships, we count on them and attract unhealthy partners.


5. Attempt to control.

For those of us who have felt like we've never had real control in our lives or have endured controlling relationships, this is a way of acquiring control even if it hurts us. It isn't rational, but it makes sense to those who suffer from this.


6. Disrespect.

God wants us to be successful. This does not mean fame or fortune, but rather success in things like marriage, families, employment, education and normal life, in general. To deny ourselves or hold ourselves back is being disrespectful to the bounteous gifts and talents God has given us.


7. It becomes a vicious cycle.

The more we sabotage ourselves, the worse our lives become and it confirms to us that we are not worthy of a good life. If we procrastinate, for example, sending our manuscript to a publisher because we fear either rejection or success, we will never get published. If we never get published it confirms to us that we are lousy writers and frauds. We stop writing and sink into depression and don't use our God-given talent to uplift others. If we have only known bad relationships, we attract bad partners and this confirms that we are not worthy of healthy relationships. It just goes round and round.


8. There is a way out.

It won't be easy running over all those terrible negative tapes we play in our heads, but we can climb out of the hole and live a productive and successful life. This is really important not only to us but to our families that sit back and watch in sadness and sometimes follow our example.


How to break this vicious cycle:


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1. Observation and self-examination.

Stop and take a good, hard look at what you are doing. Now think about why you might be. For me, it was an attempt to have control. I have lived with a lot of controlling people in my life. It became the norm to be told what to do and how to do it. Being on my own now, this was a way to exercise control over my future, even if it meant continuing a life of poverty and depression. I now know better and am finding my way out of the hole. You can, too. I believe in you.


2. Success isn't all or nothing.

There will be hills and valleys in everything we do. The secret is to continue believing in ourselves. We need to get rid of all those things we've been told and adopt a new language of self-speak. Offering personal affirmations several times a day. Meditation. Faith. Understanding that God wants us to be successful and contributing members of society. Do it for him, and do it for yourself. Most importantly, do it for that wonderful family of yours who are watching you closely and mimicking your behavior.




3. Take the good with the bad.

Knowing that there will be downfalls, 1-star ratings as well as 5-star ratings on your book, learn to love the ride. Laugh at the bad and learn from it. Use it for your good. Talk about it. Don't chuck a whole career, relationship or hobby because of one unsuccessful turn.


4. Think about the big picture.

Think about those who are following your example. Your children, your spouse, your co-workers, your Facebook friends. You are not an island. You are a part of a big puzzle and an important part. Stop being negative and selfish and, in the words of my favorite Tim Gunn, "Make it work!"


5. Try new things.

Don't just excel over your self-sabotage. Get out there and try new things. Be brave. Overcome your phobias. Empower yourself and learn a new way of thinking.


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Becky Lyn is an author and a 35+ year (most of the time) single mom.









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