Jewish World Review May 23, 2013/ 14 Sivan 5773
Having 'Words' with Duh Hubby
By Celia Rivenbark
As you probably know, Words with Friends is Scrabble without the board and tiles. Everything is on the screen and, even with my abysmal win/loss record, I much prefer it. Moving wooden tiles around on a little wooden shelf takes way longer than hitting the "shuffle" button and watching the letters shift positions in just a second. If you play a hope-it's-a-word, you'll know in a second if it's going to work. If you decide to try something before you send your word, "recall" lets you do that with just one tap of the screen. You can even trash-talk via a little chat icon in the corner of the screen.
I would love Words with Friends if my record with Duh wasn't a humiliating three wins to his 15. And, yes, I do know the definition of insanity.
I blame Duh's relentless cheating, of course. When he played "Za" for the first time, naturally on a triple word, I realized that he had made some sort of pact with the game company and would be allowed to randomly make up all sorts of cheating words.
Since we started playing, Duh has dismayed me with "dawt," "taj," "greeniest," "nu," "qis," "mu," "ti," "muskit," "kails," "pice," "gree" and "ute."
There have been many more, of course, but those are the ones that were played on triple letter/triple word spaces that earned dozens of points at a time. I responded with legitimate words that cheaters such as Duh tend to avoid and are worth about 8 points.
Duh has shown not a smidgen of remorse about the way he is treating me. At one point he messaged me that my envy was surely "the greeniest."
When I asked him to kindly give me the definition of "conge", he said something about it being in Africa.
"I think you mean Congo," I said.
"No, conge is someone who lives there."
"Is that true?"
Duh has a maddening ability to find these Scrabble-legal words by trying every conceivable combination until something hits. He has NO idea what the word means. Which, I believe, is cheating.
"Oh, yeah?" he said one night as we seethed in a tight match that had us propped up on pillows well past midnight, phones clutched in sweaty hands. "What exactly is "haen"? he asked me.
"Define it. You're all about using real words."
"It means I haen won a game in God knows how long," I said.
I finally won the game that night but it took forever and we were both cranky the next day. Still, my heart soared when I heard the familiar little chime signaling a new game invitation the next afternoon.
And, yes, I can quit anytime I like.