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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review

No gender roles when it comes to being absurd

By Mark Patinkin



http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | It's often said men are the more logical gender.

The most sensitive, no. Nor the most emotional, nurturing or fashionable.

But even most women give us logical.

Which makes guys feel that at least we have that.

Except today, I'm not so sure.

Not long ago, a woman I was with ate a few potato chips, then grimaced and said, "I'm going to pay for that." She went on to specify the price she'd pay. It got me wondering if women really think this way, so I did what you're supposed to do in 2013 when you muse about something.

I asked about it on Facebook. As follows:

"Do women actually believe, as one just told me, that you gain a pound if you eat an ounce of potato chips? It's not logical."

Some female responders insisted it was true.

"It happens," said one. "I don't know how."

Another explained it like this: "Water retention."

Then a woman named Karen Rodrigues weighed in with a question that got me.

She asked: "Do you really believe that if you don't shave you'll win games during playoffs?"

Clearly, Karen was saying that in our own way, men are just as illogical about guy things.

So I need to answer her directly.

Of course men believe it.

I mean, if you're on a run in a sport, you can't jinx it. That's why no one talks about a no-hitter in the dugout until it's over. And why Tiger Woods wears a red shirt when playing on Sundays.

Even male fans believe in it. If I'm shooting pictures of my sons playing school sports and the game is going badly, I'll put the camera away on the theory that the camera was the problem, and of course, the momentum will now shift.

This got me realizing there are many areas, beyond sports superstitions, where men don't appear so logical.

I don't often go to casinos, but in the past, I've been convinced that kissing the dice before I roll improves my chances. Apparently, I also believe that the cards inside a blackjack "shoe" understand English, because, just before taking a hit, I've been known to say out loud, "Need a 10 right now."

On airplanes, men often get focused on securing the shared armrest. It's not just for comfort.

As the writer Dave Barry once observed, men think that if we yield to the guy next to us, he'll kill us and take our woman. Which of course we don't specifically believe, but since the phrase "insecure male" is redundant, we do think there's more at stake here than an armrest.

Men can also be illogical about their height. U.S. Rep. David Cicilline once told me he was 5 foot 9. I once saw Red Sox second baseman Dustin Pedroia quoted saying he is, too. I don't believe it's true in either case. But I think they kind of believe it. The same way women believe an ounce of potato chips will make them gain a lot more than that.

Guys are particularly irrational about things involving their manliness. I knew a happily married husband who was done having children and considered a vasectomy. Ultimately, he decided against it, explaining, "I was scared that a few weeks later, I'd be walking around in my wife's underwear."

That's also why men don't like to pick up certain "products" for women at the drugstore. Or even hold the purse of their wife or girlfriend. It's partly out of embarrassment, but on some illogical level, we're also afraid that just touching that stuff will lower our testosterone levels.

It's definitely why men have a tough time buying women lingerie. We're convinced that a store full of female undergarments creates invisible rays that neutralize your mojo. I'm pretty sure I got those same rays when my 5-year-old daughter put bows in my hair. And that it happens today every time her Pekingese curls up in my lap.

The opposite is also true. We believe it increases testosterone if you catch a set of tossed keys, nail a parallel parking job on the first try or toss a crumpled piece of paper into a wastebasket across the room. That's why guys are disproportionately upset when we blow these tasks.

The same way women are upset that an ounce of potato chips could cause them to gain a pound.

Which is as absurd, preposterous and illogical

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Mark Patinkin is a columnist with The Providence Journal.



Previously:

The single man's guide to being king of the castle

Sticking with what works in an ever-changing landscape

Advice to get you through the day

Heinz is altering the ketchup package, and I'm a nervous wreck

Guys need to watch out for sweet-talking ‘women’

I'm afraid to think what's in all those women's purses

I've changed my mind — women don't have it easier (Happy now?)

Here's why women have it easier in life over men

No handouts, thank you, for Michael Kosior

Buck up and take your advice like a man …

The dark side of Youth baseball

‘Nutritional avoidance therapy’ and other crimes against language

I'm still waiting for my ‘Imitation Spit’

It was in France where I learned girls control everything

Hint: Heloise never had an answer for stubborn teens

CliffsNotes for the Twitter generation …

Conversation with someone who just awoke after 30-year coma

When life's small matters appear as crisis

My own private articles of faith

My Dad's still quick with a quip

The trouble with lines … and whose fault it is

Men aren't ever lost, we're just figuring it out

Revenge of the telemarketee

None of Oprah's ‘favorite things’ are on my to-buy list

Even penicillin is powerless against cooties

What's wrong with 15 mice?

Let college application essay reveal the real you

Scientific research has thrown batters a curve

Cemetery visits don't make her sad

For today's youngsters, instant gratification takes too long

No texting during homework? Call the authorities

Class of 2014 doesn't know what it's missing

After all these years, I have an admission to make

Readers write the darndest things


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