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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review May 3, 2013/ 23 Iyar, 5773

Beware of being a mystery reader

By Lori Borgman

Lori Borgman


http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I agreed to be a mystery reader in the class our daughter teaches. Talk about pressure. What did I expect? It was kindergarten.

She gives the kids a clue every day so they can try to figure out whose parent or grandparent is going to be the reader the last day of the week. One of the clues was that the mystery reader "has a grown child that looks a lot like the teacher."

It was anticlimactic when I walked through the door. They gave up a weak round of applause and an anemic cheer. I had a hunch it could be a tough room; I had no idea how tough.

I read three books, making sweeping moves with the book making sure all the kids could see, all the while looking at the print upside down. By book two, I had motion sickness.

I did voices and animal noises. I contorted my face for expression and threw myself into the characters.

When I finished the best reading of my life, I closed the book. They just sat there staring. They were waiting for more. You'd think when you're the teacher's mother, they'd cut you some slack.

"So I'm your teacher's mother. How about that?"

Somebody said, "Jack's dad is a policeman."

There was no way to trump that. I was fresh out of handcuffs. Too bad, too.

"I'll teach you to play your nose!" I said.

I showed them how to press one nostril shut with an index finger and hum. We did a few rounds of Old MacDonald and they warmed up a bit. For about 60 seconds.

"When Mira's mother came, she walked on her hands," someone said.

The room exploded with excitement.

"Yeah! She wasn't going to walk on her hands. She was just going to stand on her head, but we made a big circle and she walked on her hands. Can you walk on your hands? How about a flip? Can you do a flip?"

It would be nice if you knew in advance that your audience would be expecting circus tricks following the reading, but you play the hand you're dealt.

"We heard you do another trick," someone said.

I glared at my daughter. I have mentioned before that my only real talent is barking like a sea lion. I haven't done it in years because it rips my throat and is not particularly dignified.

The kids pleaded and I refused. They pleaded more. I refused more.

I saw my daughter slip out her video camera. There was no way I was barking like a sea lion with a camera present.

She dropped her camera.

My throat was sore and my voice was hoarse for four days, but I left that classroom a rock star.

If you ever agree to be a mystery reader, request to be at the front of the lineup, not after somebody's mother who can walk on her hands.


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JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Catching Christmas" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.

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© 2013, Lori Borgman

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