Jewish World Review May 10, 2012/ 18 Iyar, 5772
The News in Zingers
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | India's Telegraph reported that Hillary Clinton was cheered by tens of thousands of Indians on the streets Monday. They admire her talent. Barack Obama can really sing, Bill Clinton can blow the sax, and Hillary might be the greatest ever at playing the recorder.
The CIA foiled al-Qaeda's attempt to underwear-bomb a plane like the one in Detroit, only this time with non-metal explosives. It's the next step up. This bomb was of much bigger concern than the bomb that targeted Detroit because this bomb targeted Cleveland.
The U.S. Senate passed a bill Tuesday keeping the Post Office running despite mounting losses. It's losing twenty-five million dollars a day. The Senate added a statement to the bill saluting the Postal Service for being the most profitable arm of the U.S. government.
Boeing introduced a new airliner Tuesday with a fuselage made out of a lightweight plastic compound. It saves carbon emissions and twenty percent in fuel costs. Boeing says that the new airliner is able to seat three hundred people, or two hundred Americans.
The FDA said Friday it may allow Americans to start buying drugs without a doctor's prescription. We've demonstrated that we eat responsibly, so there's no doubt we can regulate our narcotics intake. The good news is, it could save Social Security if only Tim Tebow and Mormons live to collect it.
French president Francois Hollande appeared onstage Sunday with his lover Valerie Trierweiller. He left his common-law wife Segolene Royal, who was France's socialist presidential candidate five years ago, for his beautiful mistress, and now France has two first ladies. French voters elected Francois Hollande saying they wanted someone normal.
The Border Patrol said it will begin talking to repeat border crossers Monday. It's a psychological survey. We want to know if Mexicans who invade one country a hundred fifty times and come home are happier than Americans who invade a hundred fifty countries once and stay.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton