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Jewish World Review Release the hoards By Celia Rivenbark http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Extreme coupon people freak me out. And the scariest thing of all is that they're growing in numbers. They're hoarding hundreds of cans of Manwich in their garages, pallets of Lucky Charms under their beds and tubs full of Brawny towels in their guest baths. The problem is that it's hard to talk about them without coming across as elitist, out-of-touch or even a little jealous. Which I am none of those things. You can't be elitist if you are honestly upset that somebody's hoarding all the Manwich, am I right? Last week was triple coupon week at my favorite grocery store. When I got to the check-out, the cashier, his eyes glazed a bit, asked "Any coupons?" to which I said, "No, not today," and he looked like he wanted to cry with relief. Seriously, his shoulders slumped and his hands stopped shaking. It had been a very long week. For the customers as well. There were bare shelves where Juicy Juice had been. Coupon-cutting piranha now should have enough of the stuff to last for the next couple of decades. Cheers. If you're giving a lot of your coupon megabuys to charity then good on you, although it would be nice if you'd leave the rest of us a little something. But, from what I've seen up close and personal, most of these extreme types are just hoarding it for themselves. Who really needs dozens of deodorants or two grocery carts full of canned stew? It's like sanctioned looting. Yeah, I get that you clipped all those coupons and it took hours, that you subscribe to all those online coupon services and that takes initiative. But, really, if you've got to move your car out of the garage to make room for your mega-roll Angel Soft, you might have a problem. The extreme coupon folks admit that they might spend 40-60 hours a week clipping and organizing their coupons. Hons, that's a real job. And while part of me would like to say "Live and let live," the bigger part of me, the one that hates empty shelves and loves using the occasional coupon herself, says, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" If you're spending all those hours and you work and have kids, something's gotta be suffering somewhere. And while I think it's cute that you teach your toddler how to count to 1,000 by making him inventory the mac-n-cheese boxes in his bedroom closet, shouldn't y'all really be out in the sunshine blowing bubbles or something? Extreme couponing is, I suspect, kind of a rush. Truth is, I could see where buying 150 Colgate toothbrushes for the price of three could be pretty cool, although unbelievably greedy. One more thing, before y'all get all agitated and tell me how couponing kept you from the brink of ruin when you lost your job, I'm not talking about y'all. I'm talking about the hoarders. To whom I say: Get some help. Release the Manwich. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here. Brace yourself for a luxurious smile, and a big bill Speaking her mind by pushing his buttons She'll have another shot of mugs Polygamy may only get one season A picture is worth $1,000 for retouching Not cancer, still a big fat pain A text is worth 1,000 words Ready for some laughs again Now men don't have to work out either Hormones rule home of Princess and mom Add some oohing, cooing to your kitchen Tweeting puppy a perfect pet … for twerps Science fair spurs on hyper parents Cat naps aren't all that popular among felines Nightmare in the mall's dead zone America: Cut out the need to be cute Taking a page from a ‘Mad’ mother She's adding truth serum to her Cap'n Crunch Snuggie ensnares another victim, er, admirer Florida can keep its snakes She's homeless . . . but for $95 she can go home with your princess Southern fish experiencing identity crises Monkey baby big business for the small-minded All mommixed up? 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I don't think so Honesty in the name of fashion Perfect attendance award is for little, viral losers Trendy new ailment not for everybody What is wrong with the women today who marry insanely rich and talented men and then think they still have to cook? Shagadelic on the dance floor Ex-boyfriends can have the worst timing Little wonder many voters are confused Sound bites not easy in Southern I swear it's not my fault Celebrity news gets weirder, trumps all else Driver's license? Outta my way while I get `em Like taking Miley Cyrus tickets from a baby Driving under the influence of celebrity Hugged your Webkinz today? Hate mail spawned by humor columns ‘High School Musical’ rocks to the max! Where did latest ‘syndrome’ come from? Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama Office gossip is protected free speech First-class corpse Song lyrics have only gotten dumber Talk to the clock because the ISP doesn't care Being a happy human vessel has its limits Who's not your daddy? Phoning for dazzlers Proper spelling begins at home Sick of the waiting room Road signs Halt your motion toward the lotion Sudoku's got my husband's number One short stack of smarts, please Spa me the kids IRS wants us to like it so much that it smacks of desperation Uniforms: Soul-sucking sameness Girls' pajama parties a little different now Welcome back for guilt-free manly man A big boo-hoo for disgraced celebs Girls' pajama parties a little different now When Bubbas and hoes are extra welcome Ageless icons can't escape their ages Gifts to kids' teachers make competitive moms antsy Kid bumper stickers sure not ‘terrific’ © 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services

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