Jewish World Review May 20, 2011 / 16 Iyar, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Queen Elizabeth made history Tuesday with the first visit by a British monarch to Ireland. It was a big day for the Irish. Across the pond Arnold Schwarzenegger knelt before the podium at a Democratic banquet in Boston and was officially inducted into the Kennedy family.
Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted Tuesday he had a child out of wedlock with his family maid in Brentwood. This all happened ten years ago. At one time between Arnold's movie career and his political career he tried to be a stay-at-home dad, and he succeeded a little too well.
Maria Shriver asked for privacy Tuesday and said she would have no further comment about Arnold's affair. She then flew to Chicago to spill her guts on the Oprah Winfrey show. It was the most tasteful thing she could do short of discussing it between numbers on Dancing with the Stars.
The Chinese military just manufactured a high-tech video game for kids called Glorious Mission in which the shooter kills American soldiers and destroys U.S. choppers. It's not very popular. Chinese children don't like to shoot holes in uniforms they spent all day sewing.
Mexican authorities stopped two trucks at their border Tuesday which contained five hundred illegal aliens. This is a serious crackdown. They will not allow economic refugees from the United States to settle in Mexico and take advantage of the country's cheap gasoline.
Air Force One missed its approach on a runway Wednesday with President Obama on the plane. The pilot didn't like cloud cover and pulled up and circled for a second approach. Three newspapers lost their White House credentials for downplaying the threat to the country.
Yale suspended the Delta Kappa Epsilon fraternity after the pledges marched through campus chanting obscenities against women. It's not their fault. In the old days a fraternity pledge class could sing Top Forty hits on campus without getting kicked out of school for it.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton