Jewish World Review May 14, 2010 / 1 Sivan 5770
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The NBA allowed the sale of the New Jersey Nets to Russian billionaire Mikhail Prokhorov Tuesday. He did business with Zimbabwe's regime and the Russian Mafia. Buying into a rigged basketball league is his way of showing the judge he's turning his life around.
Germany's Lufthansa Airlines announced Tuesday that its flight attendants will carry handcuffs aboard all flights. There was a strong customer demand for it. Now that the airlines charge for baggage, leg room, blankets and food, only masochists fly.
Council of La Raza speakers were taped urging Hispanic crowds to seize Arizona back from America. How sad. It's a shame that Mexican-Americans, African-Americans and Anglo-Americans can't work together and build their dreams on Native American land.
Oprah Winfrey's show fell in the ratings Tuesday with viewership way down from last year. She's been beaten for seven straight weeks by Judge Judy. Barack Obama has just replaced cirrhosis of the liver as the leading cause of death among Democrats.
The Wall Street Journal denied Tuesday that it ran an old picture of Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan playing softball to imply she's a lesbian. These rumors go way back. She was introducing people to her partner two years before she joined a law firm.
The Wall Street Journal said Gulf Coast hotels are suffering cancellations by holiday vacationers because of the oil spill. Not everyone is canceling. Some people are looking forward to having their Memorial Day barbecues right on the water.
The Treasury Department said Tax Day revenue was way down from the April fifteenth collections last year. People have just stopped paying their taxes. Many Americans have concluded that Leavenworth will be there when they retire and Social Security won't be.
President Obama made nice with Afghan President Hamid Karzai Wednesday. Obama has criticized Karzai for corruption and Karzai has threatened to join the Taliban. They came out smiling after President Obama agreed to keep U.S. troops in Afghanistan and Hamid Karzai agreed to let Chicago host the International Corruption Games next year.
The Pentagon weighed a proposal Thursday to begin awarding U.S. soldiers a medal for courageous restraint. Soldiers in Afghanistan would be given medals for holding their fire. Once we started rewarding banks for losing money and car companies for losing customers it was just a short step to honoring soldiers for losing the war.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton