Jewish World Review May 14, 2009 / 20 Iyar 5769
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Texas was joined by Oklahoma in making state sovereignty claims, fanning secession talk in the South. That explains GM's desire to leave Detroit. Californians only buy imports and soon a Chevy built in Tennessee will be just as imported as if it's made in Tokyo.
President Obama slashed Chrysler's advertising budget in half Tuesday. This is his area of expertise. He told them they don't need a hundred million dollars in advertising if they can just run a few negative ads in Iowa and get Chris Matthews on their side.
Hawaii lawmakers voted Friday to set aside a state holiday for Islam Day. This is not going to work. New York City may have lost the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to Cleveland but they're not about to lose the Museum of the Sneak Attack to Honolulu.
The U.S. government will pay two million dollars to teach hookers in China to drink responsibly. Why are U.S. politicians spending money to educate foreign prostitutes? These days safe sex means you don't do a wire transfer where the government can see it.
Jimmy Carter told the U.S. Senate that energy independence is as important today as it was thirty years ago when he was president. He's so right. We were relying on imported cocaine for our energy needs in the Carter era and it's no different today.
President Obama withdrew his support for a single-payer health care system like Britain's Monday. Let's guess what changed his mind. President Obama favored a single-payer health care system until he found out Churchill's country has one, and now he thinks it's colonial.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2009, Argus Hamilton