Jewish World Review May 22, 2008 / 17 Iyar 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Al Gore was awarded a million-dollar prize for environmental work Monday. He's won an Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy and a Nobel Prize. Everyone wants to do something for the environment and they would rather give an award to Al Gore than give up driving.
NASA's Phoenix Mars lander will touch down near the planet's north pole Sunday. It will spend ninety days digging up soil with a backhoe. China's worried that the U.S. has finally found someplace with fewer environmental and labor protections than they have.
Senator Robert Byrd of West Virginia endorsed Senator Barack Obama Monday. The ninety-year-old senator has apologized for his long-ago membership in the Ku Klux Klan. Right after the endorsement the Ku Klux Klan apologized for ever letting him in.
Senator Barack Obama campaigned for Native American votes in Crow Agency, Montana, on Monday. He was made an honorary member of the Crow Nation and given his own tribal name. It means One Who Must Never Be Criticized or His Jaw Will Shatter.
France admitted having informal talks with the Hamas terror government in Gaza which attacks Israel, prompting condemnation from Washington. That's more like it. For the last year France has been on our side in everything and it just didn't feel right.
Philadelphia's police commissioner said Monday he's firing four police officers who were videotaped swinging their nightsticks on three shooting suspects. The whole thing was caught on camera by a helicopter. No one was hurt, the cops were all former Phillies.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton